When you get pregnant, you should be able to expect that your family will be happy for you, but that is not always the case.

What would you do if your sister-in-law were depressed about you being pregnant, and even mean about it, because she was having trouble conceiving?

That is the situation that the couple in this story is in, so she wants to cut off the sister-in-law and keep her baby away from her forever.

WIBTAH if I don’t let my SIL hold my baby because of her extreme jealousy towards me in my pregnancy?

I (27F) and my husband (30M) think we shouldn’t let our SIL, S (31F), hold our baby because of her complete 180 since finding out I was pregnant and the family we’ve talked to about it disagrees.

It is great that they were so close.

Background: S and I used to be best friends, thick as thieves, and really had a great relationship as we were married to brothers and saw each other all the time.

S and her husband, Z (32M), got married a year before us and had been trying to have a baby since a little before that, starting in 2023.

Lots of people are like this, unfortunately.

To put it bluntly, Z and S are horrible with money. They don’t pay their bills, get their phones turned off every other month due to not paying, almost got their car repossessed, and got evicted from their apartment in April 2024.

Since then, they have lived with my in laws, my husband’s parents, and the in laws have paid half of their bills since they moved in.

Wow, will they ever move out?

Z and S has told my in laws that they would only live with them a year, to save up money to buy a house and get on their feet, but after a year of being there they have now confessed that they will need to stay at least 2 more years.

I don’t know what they spend their money on, but still are getting their phone turned off, still aren’t financially responsible, and still are trying to have a baby and have gone to a fertility clinic to see what’s going on.

Having kids doesn’t have to make financial sense.

Despite me not agreeing with that being the best financial choice for them, I have supported them through their journey.

My husband and I started trying for a baby in August of 2024 and quickly conceived in October 2024, with me now being 6 months pregnant.

This was very considerate.

Knowing of Z and S’s fertility issues, we told them first to give them some time to come to terms with it and then told our families a month and a half later.

This is when it the fan. When I told S, she stopped talking to me for 3 weeks, absolute radio silence.

Ok, good, she is happy for them.

Then, before our announcement to our families in December, we were able to meet up and S told me how despite being upset that it wasn’t her, she was happy and excited for us.

At our announcement, S proceeded to uncontrollably bawl her eyes out for 15 mins straight after we told our parents, not even 5 mins after announcing.

She needs to grow up a little.

S then proceeded to pout in the living room all night, drank a bottle of wine out of the bottle to her face, and then drove off at the end of the night to her friends house.

Then until Christmas, S proceeded to go no contact with me again until our whole family got together for the holidays for a party, where she pouted all night again and gave me dirty looks and glares every time I came into the room or talked about my pregnancy

This is just inappropriate.

And would say backhanded comments about my pregnancy when she thought I wasn’t listening.

In January, I told S we needed to talk about how she was being hurtful about how she was treating me and how my husband and I felt very uncomfortable now being near her.

Come on, she should know that being pregnant is an important topic to talk about.

S told me to “read the room” before talking about my pregnancy and that “we can literally talk about anything else”.

I told her I felt like our feelings were being dismissed and we weren’t allowed to be happy about our baby around her, and S told me that “yeah but what about what I’m going through”.

I wouldn’t want to talk to her either.

We then didn’t talk until the beginning of March, where I spent my time ignoring her and not going around family to avoid the drama, and my husband even avoided his brother Z and stopped talking to him, until S reached out to talk after my MIL got my baby shower invitation without S’s name on it (remember, same house lol).

I thought it finally would get better because S admitted that she was out of control these past few months and didn’t mean to make everything about her, and she apologized for dismissing our feelings and making us feel like we weren’t allowed to be happy, and hoped she was allowed to go to the baby shower.

Good, hopefully they can move past this.

I told her she was, so long as no drama followed her there, because it was our day to celebrate and be happy about our baby, something we have felt like we haven’t been able to do since announcing.

She promised she would, and told me how excited and happy she was for us.

Ugh, that is disappointing.

Baby shower was this past Sunday, and drama indeed followed, and we are so done with it.

At our shower, we had our gender reveal and told everyone to wear blue or pink with their guess of the gender.

I can see why it is still hard for her.

S shows up in blue, gives me a hug, but proceeds to not look me in the eyes, not talk to me, and made it known she was only here for appearances.

The shower came and went, and at the end we announced we were having a baby girl.

She really needs to get past this.

When I looked at everyone’s faces, there were so many smiling and excited looks, except for S who had her mouth dropped and looked angry.

Z came up to us and gave us a hug, and S ran out of the shower outside to then bawl her eyes out again for the rest of the event (20-30 mins).

She seems very immature.

Refused to say goodbye to us, refused to congratulate us, refused to leave the drama behind.

Now my husband and I have agreed that S will never be okay with us having a baby before them, and her insane jealously and envy is too much to handle and we just cannot trust her anymore.

I certainly don’t blame them.

We don’t want that negative energy around our child and we agreed with how much drama she has caused and how much we don’t trust her anymore, it would be best to have her as far away from our baby and not let her hold her.

With all the horror stories we read, it’s what we think is the best decision.

I agree they should be open to the idea of the sister changing.

Now though, we told my mother this who is very up to date with all the drama and she says it is not a good idea and to give her time.

She says it will just cause more drama, and doesn’t understand why I would let this influence the future.

Don’t make a decision rashly.

I told her how I have no trust for S anymore, and I won’t allow this negative person who switched up on me be close to my baby, and she says that I would be making the wrong decision.

AITA?

Definitely not for keeping their distance now, but I do think it is wrong to say they will never be close again. People can and do change throughout their lives, so giving the sister a chance in the future makes sense.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

She definitely shouldn’t be at the hospital.

Keeping family close is not a bad thing.

Here is someone who says to cut her off.

This person says to not associate with the SIL at all.

It will be difficult, that’s for sure.

They need some space right now.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.