The ethics of whether or not to discipline an unruly child that’s not yours is a heated debate.

What would you do if your sibling brought a rambunctious child into the family dynamic? One guy recently asked for validation on how he handled this on Reddit.

Here’s what went down.

AITA for speaking my mind about rules of my home?

So my brother is dating a lady who is raising her best friend’s brother’s ex girlfriend’s kid she had while he was locked up.

No, she is not an official foster parent as far as I know.

As far as why is she raising the kid, I do not know.

Though that information would probably be helpful.

So on to my story.

Brother, new girlfriend and said kid were at our mom’s for a holiday.

According to our mom, this kid was very ill behaved, tormented their dog, dragged out dog toys all over the house, refused to sit and eat, rather eating with her hands while she roamed the house.

That sounds like anything but a holiday.

Kid is 8, and apparently the birth parents were users, so kid has “issues”.

Dog got so upset that it threw up, no attempt to correct said child was done, it was a disaster.

I was not present for that.

Wouldn’t want to be.

Mom told me about it.

Christmas is coming.

Typically we get together at my house, so I’m getting a plan together so I can prepare food.

That will hopefully be nice.

I asked brother if his girlfriend was coming with him.

He said maybe.

I asked about the kid, he said maybe.

Seems like he better get his affairs in order.

So I said: “Just so we are clear, I will not tolerate the behavior I heard about from mom, at my house” he asked what had I heard, and I told him.

He said: “Well, the kid has issues”.

I said that I didn’t care, and that I will not have my house destroyed by a feral child, and if she will not correct this kid, that I am not afraid to.

Sounds like a fair boundary was set.

My teenager is a musician, and has several expensive guitars, basses and drums, that we do not want torn up.

My house also is not very large, so it would be hard to put these things away.

Added to the fact that the rest of my family and friends deserve a peaceful holiday, and I do not have time to clean up after an ill behaved kid.

It’s harsh, but it’s fair.

I told him I was not trying to be TA, but that I needed to make myself crystal clear.

So far, I do not have an answer as to if girlfriend and kid plan to come.

I felt the need to say something, as mom had no warning that the child was coming to her house, only knew that brother and his girlfriend were coming, and then this episode occurred.

Who doesn’t warn someone about that ahead of time?

I get that the kid may have issues, and for that I am sorry to hear.

However, until the kid can behave herself, I feel like she and the “mom” may have to sit out events, as that is a sacrifice you make when you agree to parent a child.

For context, I raised 2 kids alone, and if we were somewhere I expected them to behave and be respectful, and if they got out of line, we left.

Sounds like this guy is speaking from lived experience. Let’s see how the Reddit community weighed in.

Most unanimously agreed with the original poster.

Others shared words of wisdom.

Some provided a nuanced perspective.

Another person could relate very closely.

But one person ultimately laid down the law.

It takes a village, but this kid might need a whole city.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.