Coming home from war is something not all of us will experience and understand.

The following story involves a husband who returned home from a combat deployment.

When he got home to a messy house, he made an honest remark that kind of hurt his wife.

Even after 4 months, what he said stayed with him and made him feel guilty.

Check out the full details below…

AITA for telling my wife when I came home from combat duty that all I wanted is a quit time in a clean room

I (30M) lives in a country with an ongoing war.

In this phase, every few months, the men go to a combat assignment of a month or two.

Then, they come back home to our regular jobs.

This man really loves clean space and quiet time.

At the beginning, when it was much longer deployments and everything was new, it was very special to come home.

And everybody celebrated it. Now, after years of war, it’s kind of a regular thing.

I’m a person who really needs quiet time and a clean space.

War is nothing but the opposite of these things.

It’s messy and disgusting and noisy and overwhelming.

But when he got home, it was messy and miserable.

Last time I came home, my wife (29F) came to pick me up from the bus station.

We got into the house together. When I got inside, it was super messy and I looked miserable.

She asked me what was going on.

I said, without thinking, that the one thing that I missed the most was quiet time in a clean room.

She said in a joking-not-joking tone that she thought the thing I missed the most was her.

He felt like a jerk.

That is actually true, to be honest. She looked disappointed.

We never spoke about this event again.

But every now and then, I remember it.

I feel like a crappy husband.

They share household chores and errands.

We don’t have kids, so it’s just us. I love her very much and really missed her.

We are a modern couple. We both work around 50 hours a week.

We separate all the household chores and errands between us equally.

This means that, when I’m not around for over a month, she needs to deal with everything alone.

He cleans for her whenever she’s out and he’s at home.

She also has her intensive job to manage.

When she went on business trips, I always tried to clean everything in the last days.

I wanted her to come home to a clean house with a homemade meal.

Now, he’s thinking about bringing it up after four months.

She never said I was a jerk. But I feel that this really hurt her.

I am really mad at myself. Am I the jerk?

Is it a good idea to bring this up four months after the events in question?

Should I apologize?

Let’s read the responses of other people to this story.

This user shares their personal thoughts.

This person makes a valid point.

Talk to your wife, advises this one.

This one makes sense, too.

Finally, another military man speaks up.

Sometimes, being 100% honest can make you a bad husband.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.