It’s easy to assume that the way you grow up, the atmosphere and relationships in your family are ‘normal’.

After all, for a long time before you have your own ability to judge, this is your normal – so anything else feels different, and sometimes quite strange.

But then, later in life – maybe as an adult, perhaps when you have children of your own – you get to decide how you live, how you treat your partner and your children.

And for many, this is an opportunity to change, to make a better life.

For the person in this story, a dramatic family event caused a shake-up that made them realise their own childhood was far from ideal – and now, they’re wanting to change things for themselves for the better.

Read on to find out what happened.

WIBTA for forgiving but not forgetting my family for blaming me for what my sister did?

My sister abandoned her five year old son a little less than two weeks ago and fled.

Police are looking for her, but she hasn’t been found yet. My nephew is with my parents and is in therapy.

When that first happened, my parents were quick to blame me because I had refused to babysit the kid in the past, and the weekend before my sister ultimately abandoned him.

They think had I babysat him that day, she wouldn’t have fled.

Uh-oh. Let’s see how things are working out for them now.

I’ve been staying with my friends since then. And oh my god it’s chill here.

They’re young parents with a baby, and yet it’s chill here.

Everyone is happy, they talk things out when there issues, they work together.

I’ve met both parents of my friends, and they’re nice and polite. Obviously I don’t know what goes on behind closed doors, but I have seen some bickering and they always find a way to resolve it.

And this is just emphasizing what this person is familiar with.

Growing up, my parents always argued a lot, my siblings were always loud and cruel to each other at times, and there always had to be someone to blame.

If you were the person who was blamed, you were insulted and shunned for a while, then they would apologize.

You were always expected to forgive and forget.

Read on to find out how that is reflected in the situation now.

My parents are trying to apologize to me about their blowout at me regarding my sister, and I can understand their initial feelings.

I’m willing to forgive, but I know my family will also expect me to forget – but I can’t forget. I don’t think I can forget this whole situation.

So I’m wondering if I would be wrong if I chose to forgive them, but refused to forget this whole thing?

WIBTA?

It’s clear that this family will have been going through a lot of stress and trauma following the disappearance of the daughter – and the mother of the child.

But it’s not like this rush to blame is out of the blue – it has been a systematic part of this person’s life growing up.

And that really isn’t fair.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This person thought that the way the parents spoke to their adult child was completely unfair.

While others encouraged them to take time away.

Meanwhile, this Redditor agreed that they definitely shouldn’t forget.

This family have been treating one another terribly for a long time, it seems, and it’s a shame that it has taken such a dramatic family event for this sibling to realize.

Sometimes though it does take a huge shake like this, and a significant change of scenery, to realize what has been right before you – and in this person’s case, that is a life of emotional damage and hurt.

No way should they forget.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.