Workplace friendliness can be nice, but there’s a point where it starts feeling a little too personal.

So when one woman noticed a chatty coworker growing increasingly curious about her personal life, his questions and messages slowly crossed the line.

And the longer it continued, the harder it became to resist going to HR about her concerns.

Read on for the full story.

WIBTA If I go to HR about a coworker

I started a new role as the office manager for a political strategies think tank about two weeks ago. It’s pretty standard stuff.

I have a coworker who is a researcher who we’ll call John. I used to temp here a couple times a week, so we’ve met before.

He and John got off on a pretty good foot.

He was always very nice and liked to chat. That happens a lot in temp jobs—there is always one employee who wants to make you feel a bit more comfortable and all that jazz.

I’ve always been cordial, but had recently become more standoffish as I am in a real role now and I have a lot to do.

But then John started getting a little too chummy.

His friendly ways have escalated since I officially started. It went from simply “Hey! Good morning!” to “Good morning _____, how was your night? Got a lot of work today?”

I have openly told people I prefer to not talk about my personal life, simply because I am here to work and help maintain day-to-day operations.

He tries to run a tight ship when it comes to sharing information.

The only person who knows a minuscule amount of information is my employee, but she is only in two days a week.

But the office is aware I will be in LA for four days in two weeks. That’s all they know.

I have shared nothing else as I need them to grasp I’m three hours behind, so I don’t want to be annoyed with things like “Can you order whiteout?”

Then, things began to escalate.

Yesterday was when I began to feel uncomfortable.

During lunch everyone clears out aside from me and John, who is sitting upstairs.

At some point he uses the restroom (which is next to my desk).

So she takes the call and loses sight of John.

During that time my boyfriend called me to confirm a few things for LA, including what we’re doing for a day trip to Santa Barbara.

During the conversation I heard the toilet flush and the sink run, but I realized I never heard him come out of the bathroom.

Our phone call ended with, “Since you’re working from home today, can you please take some chicken down so we can make dinner right when I get home? Okay, love you, bye.”

I slide my phone in my pocket and BAM—the bathroom door swings open.

John then pummels her qith questions.

I’m met with, “You said you’re going to LA. Are you going on another trip to Santa Barbara? Who was that on the phone?”

I calmly said Santa Barbara is only 1.5 hours from LA on the train, and I’m excited to see the Pacific Coast.

Then I added, pretty simply, that it was my partner.

John left me alone for the day until it was 5:30 and he left.

But he refused to take the hint.

Before he went, he asked if I wanted to get a drink after work. I declined because I don’t drink and I didn’t want to.

That night while eating, I received five texts from him asking, “did ur friend take out the chicken?” “what r u making?” “hello”

Then, “i ended up picking up a premade meal from wegmans.. i wish i had someone to cook with each night :/”

And my personal favorite: “are u more of an ice cream or sorbet girl? ur such a mystery!”

She begins to feel like she needs to put John in his place.

I am faced with a dilemma.

The HR manager is my direct boss, but I have only been on their payroll for two weeks.

John is great at his job. He gets some of the highest markers out of anyone, but I obviously know he isn’t immune to being reprimanded.

My fear comes from the fact that I feel I’ll be looked at as an AH if I talk to HR, as I’m new and there is such a stigma around reporting misconduct.

AITA?

If John is really making her that uncomfortable, then maybe reporting him is the best move.

What did Reddit think?

John seems to have zero understanding of personal boundaries.

It’s clear to this commenter that John is trying to escalate something romantic.

It’s time to start building her case against John.

She owes it to John to at least talk to him first.

She showed up to do her job, not be besties with a coworker who couldn’t take a hint.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.