Planning a group trip is already a logistical nightmare, but throw in private side chats and selective honesty, and suddenly it’s less “vacation vibes” and more “group project from hell.”

Everything seemed set: budget agreed, plans moving forward…until a small price bump sent things sideways. Totally fair if people back out.

But when two friends quietly decide they’re out…and then act like it was a spontaneous decision with zero prior discussion? That’s where things start to feel a little off.

So when she pointed out, politely at first, that she knew there had been private conversations…let’s just say the group chat did not stay calm.

AITA for pointing out that my friends had discussed cancelling a trip privately?

During our break, two friends from my master’s program and I (20sF) assisted in organizing a quick trip. I ended up serving as the point of communication between the two groups since I was also organizing with another small group of classmates who might join.

Everyone seemed to be comfortable with the initial budget that we had discussed, which was roughly $600–700 per person. We planned a call to finalize the details and make travel and lodging arrangements.

Just before the call, a couple of people from the other group backed out, and this raised the price per individua by only like 60 dollars.

Woof.

During the call, one of my friends mentioned to me that she needed some time to think about it because the price had risen. The very next day, my two friends decided they didn’t want to go anymore.

I wasn’t upset about the trip being cancelled because people have budgets and things come up. I simply mentioned to my group of friends that I wished I had known earlier if they were having doubts because I had mentioned to the other group that we would soon confirm the plans.

One of my friends then asked what exactly I was upset about, saying that they had not really discussed it before but had only decided after seeing the updated price.

Huh?

I got frustrated because, earlier, the other friend had already told me that they had been talking privately about things such as the budget and if the trip would actually be fun. So,

I then said in the chat, “I know you two already talked about it, because it would be kinda weird if you two were telling me that nothing was discussed.”

SHE PROCEEDED TO LIE – said she never talked about it before, and called up the third friend and started yelling bcs she was mad that i was informed about their secret talks.

Wooooow.

My issue is – i was ready to drop it, just wanted to let them know that i didnt like the way things were commiuncaited but the friend who lied kept on poking me and she said WDYM? WE WERE ALWAYS UPFRONT WITH YOU.

Then the other friend was backing her up, ver well knowing that i know the truth – she was supporting lies and they expected me to apologise. I had to tell the liar friend that i knew bcs i cant constantly be lied to and she cant expect me to apologise when shes lying. its messed up i think.

The conversation was not going anywhere after that, but now I’m wondering if I should have just let the matter be instead of saying what I said. bcs later the third friend got mad at me for telling the friend who lied that i knew that she was lying.

Reddit was pretty split, landing around ESH, with many agreeing the friends shouldn’t have lied or gaslit about the private discussions, but also that calling it out in a group chat escalated things unnecessarily.

This person says YTA.

This person votes ESH.

And this person has a lot of questions.

When the truth comes out in the group chat, everyone ends up packing drama instead of bags.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.