It’s important for couples to be on the same page about how many kids they want and how they want to raise their children. Imagine discussing parenting with your spouse, but he tells you he doesn’t think you’d be a good mom. Would you get upset, defend yourself or simply ask him why he says that?

In this story, one woman is in this situation, and she chooses the last option. Keep reading to see if you think his reasoning makes sense or not and if her response back to him was too harsh.

AITA for saying it’s easy to be a dad after my husband said he’d make a good dad but doesn’t think I’d make a good mom now?

My husband (24M) and I (23F) got on the topic of kids after we found out that one of his friends is soon to be a dad.

Throughout dating, engagement, and the start of our marriage, we agreed to start having kids in our late 20s.

We want to enjoy time together as a couple and it’s extremely important to me to have a decent career before I’m expected to sacrifice career growth in favor of taking care of a family.

Her husband basically insulted her.

Talk about his friend’s future child led to us talking about how we hope his friend is able to step up to the plate because he’s not a very responsible person.

Luckily for the child, his wife is the most responsible person we know.

My husband then decided to tell me that if we started expecting a child now, he’d make a great dad but I’d be an awful mom at the moment.

Her husband doesn’t really have a lot of experience with kids.

I decided to ask why he thought he’d make a great dad.

He said he’s great with kids.

His experience is watching Bluey with a 3 year old for a couple of hours while the kid’s parents (originally his friends but became mutual friends) were out on a date and I was cleaning their home because they needed a night off and a clean home after series of health scares and hospital visits.

His other experience is entertaining his younger cousin (6) at family events.

She told him what it really means to be a dad.

I told him that while he’s great at entertaining kids, being a dad isn’t just entertaining kids. You also have to set an example for how to be a good member of society, which starts with fulfilling your part of household chores and also not expecting someone to clean up after you.

He got mad and then repeated that I wouldn’t make a good mom.

I decided to hear him out because I was intrigued by what he might say and if there was anything I needed to fix, then I would like to know of it before having kids.

This should be interesting…

The reasons why I’d make an awful mom:

1. Whenever family or friends ask about when we’re having kids, I say I’m not ready to suffer and risk my life for 9 months. (That’s just the reality of the average pregnancy in the US. And I have health problems that would make it riskier than average for me.)

2. I hate when kids cry and scream in public. (80% of the time, parents are the problem but I don’t want to hear kids crying and screaming in the grocery store or at restaurants… I’m sorry).

3. I want to establish a stable place in my career where I can be at least mid-level with a secure job and have experience/connections to easily get another if necessary.

But there’s one more reason.

4. (This is the one you should probably be sitting down for) I have absolutely 0 desire to breastfeed a baby. I refuse to be the sole person responsible for feeding the baby and I refuse to continue to carefully watch what I eat and drink after doing so for 9 months.

If it’s necessary for the baby’s health, I’d try to do it for a few weeks. I was raised on breast milk for a few weeks (which took a significant toll on my mom, physically and mentally) and then formula fed.

I turned out fine; any problems I have are the result of genetics or the environment I was raised in so it wasn’t what or how I was fed as a baby.

My husband and his family think this is an immature mindset to have and it’s been a source of contention since we got married. Of course when we were dating and engaged, he said it would be up to me and the baby. We didn’t talk about it around his parents/family.

She ended the conversation.

After that last reason, I just decided to say that it’s a good thing we’re not trying to have kids anytime soon because we both have growing to do and have disagreements on how to raise a kid.

But it’s been weighing heavily on my mind for some reason.

So AITA for saying it’s easy to be a dad and that I don’t think he’d make a good one now after he said he’d be a good dad but I wouldn’t be a good mom at the moment?

She’s clearly not ready to have kids yet, and she knows that. He doesn’t seem to understand how hard parenting really is. Did she say anything wrong, or did he deserve her comments?

Let’s see what Reddit has to say about this situation.

This would definitely be a glimpse at her future.

One person explains why they think OP will be a good mom.

Another person points out why it is easier to be a mom than a dad.

This is a good question.

Another person sees red flags here.

She’s not wrong.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.