Being a maid of honor comes with a lot of obligations, but so does being the only mother figure a grieving niece has ever known.

When a woman’s best friend’s wedding was rescheduled at the last minute and the new date conflicted with a surprise party celebrating her niece’s college acceptance, she made her choice and stood by it.

Her best friend called it a betrayal, and the group chat lit up the next morning.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITAH for choosing to go home to celebrate my nieces college acceptance instead of going to my best friends wedding?

I (42F) am in a predicament.

My (39F) best friend, who we’ll call Tracy, is getting married soon and asked me to be her maid of honor a week after she got proposed to by her boyfriend (now fiancé) of 6 years.

At first, she was really excited about this.

I of course accepted and have been helping her plan and organize this wedding for months.

I even helped pay for her wedding dress as an early wedding gift.

But soon a scheduling conflict threatens to ruin everything.

The problem is something happened and, long story short, the wedding got pushed back a few weeks and now falls on the day after my niece’s surprise party for being accepted into her dream college.

I have been close to my niece (we’ll call her Amy) since she was born, but became even closer with her after my sister passed when she was 7.

Lately, though their hangouts look a little different.

Sadly, my husband and I ended up moving when he got a job offer in Texas when she was 10, while she and the rest of my family live in Maine. We stayed close though, and she FaceTimes me every night to tell me about her day and what she’s been up to.

Her niece is celebrating a big milestone.

When she got accepted into her dream college, I was extremely proud. She’s been working incredibly hard to get in, and of course my whole family is extremely proud of her hard work.

So her father decided to throw her a surprise party to congratulate her and to show her how proud we all are of her.

But after the date change, she had to make some tough choices.

Her father, James, contacted me knowing that Tracy’s wedding was coming up and set a date so that I’d be able to be there to congratulate Amy in person without interfering with Tracy’s upcoming wedding.

After Tracy’s wedding got pushed back, I made the hard decision to go to my niece’s party.

Tracy didn’t seem to be understanding at all.

I have been contemplating this for a week and I told Tracy last night of my decision. She did not take it well.

She had apparently thought that I would have decided to go to her wedding, as it’s more important.

She tried to explain herself, but Tracy didn’t seem to care.

I tried to explain my reasons: one, the plane tickets are already paid for — and not by me, James paid for them — and two, my niece has worked really hard to get into that college and I want to be there to tell her how proud I am of her.

Tracy thinks I’m the bad guy because I could just FaceTime Amy during the party and tell her how proud I am over FaceTime, and that I could always pay James back the money for the plane tickets.

To Tracy, this is a huge deal.

She says this is her big day and I’m her best friend and maid of honor, and I’m apparently going to ruin her big day if I’m not there.

I did feel bad but I stuck with my decision.

I woke up this morning to messages from mutual friends telling me I’m in the wrong because my niece’s party is less important than Tracy’s wedding.

So AITAH?

What a tough choice.

What did Reddit think?

This user agrees that her niece should be the priority.

If Tracy wanted everyone to attend, she shouldn’t have changed the date last minute.

This commenter pushes for more answers.

Tracy is clearly only looking out for herself.

Tracy can disagree with her decision, but blaming her for a problem she didn’t create is a stretch.

Some choices are hard and still right, and this felt like one of them.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.