Sometimes help doesn’t actually feel helpful, especially when it creates more work afterward.

So, what would you do if you had friends staying at your place who kept insisting on loading the dishwasher, even after you asked them not to? Would you quietly fix things to avoid awkwardness? Or would you speak up again?

In the following story, one person finds themselves in this predicament and is unsure how to proceed. Here’s what’s going on.

WIBTA if I told my friends to stop doing my dishes?

So, for some context, my partner and I (both 22 NB) are friends with another couple (23 and 24, also NB).

Two months ago, we went to stay at their place for two weeks, and I would load the dishwasher every evening and sometimes in the morning to help around the house. A few times, I woke up later than they did (the other couple), and they had already loaded the dishwasher.

The thing is, I noticed they were loading it very… wrong. A lot of things were overlapping, some utensils were literally on top of each other, and there were also plates that were completely overlapping. I paused the dishwasher and fixed it, but I didn’t say anything to them because it is their house and their rules.

Now, the friend is loading the dishwasher at their house.

Now, they have come to stay at our place, and they mentioned they will do all the dishes to “repay” me, but I told them to please not touch my dishes. I will make sure they always have clean dishes so they don’t ever need to use the dishwasher.

Two nights ago tho, after we went to sleep, they loaded the dishwasher anyway.

I woke up, and they were all like, “Surprise, we wanted to help,” and expected me to be grateful.

They’re unsure how to handle it.

I looked at the dishwasher and literally two plates were completely overlapping, as well as a lot of forks, and there was also the handle of a strainer blocking the spinning things at the bottom (I don’t know what they are called).

I told them I didn’t want them to help, and when they left the kitchen, I fixed the dishes and turned on the dishwasher again.

Last night, they did it again. I’m not sure if I should keep telling them to stop or just shut up and try to fix it when they aren’t looking. My partner says I should just pretend to be grateful.

AITA?

Eek! It’s easy to see why they’d rather do it themselves.

Let’s see what the people over at Reddit think should happen.

This person would just make sure to do them before the friends get a chance.

Here’s someone who suggests they explain their thoughts.

For this reader, it feels Midwestern.

This reader’s husband is strict about loading the dishwasher.

It’s such a temporary thing that it may not be worth bringing up again.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.