Every relationship is unique. What you may see as a trouble or even abusive relationship might actually be perfectly happy and healthy to the actual couple.

What would you do if your friend was married to someone who you felt was always taking advantage of him and treating him poorly?

That is what happened to the woman in this story, so she decided to ask him about it and express her concerns. When she talked to him about it, he said that he was very happy and there weren’t any issues for her to worry about. She was still very concerned though and didn’t want to let it go, even after he told her to drop it.

AITA for telling my best friend that I don’t like the way his wife treats him sometimes, and think that it’s controlling?

I am F. My best friend (M) will be Josh. His wife will be Jill. We are all late 20s.

It is great when two people can be so happy together.

Josh has been my best friend since senior year of college. He was already with Jill at that point. They’ve been married for years & were together for 6 years before. He is head over heels for her, very proud of her, always calling her the LOHL.

I am good friends w/ Jill too & for the most part she’s a lovely person – kind, caring, smart & generous, funny & tough. But there’ve always been some things about her that rub me wrong.

Nobody’s perfect. If these things are too annoying, maybe it is time to let the friendship end.

She can come off as demanding & sometimes the way she says things seem barbed. She can make jokes that feel like they’re a bit TOO far sometimes. She also leans into the image of being a ‘dominant’ person.

Last, but probably the most annoying to me, is that she has no problem inconveniencing ppl to get what she wants. Especially Josh. He dotes on her & I just feel like sometimes she takes advantage.

These things are all between “M” and Josh and really aren’t any of her business.

Examples: we’ll all be comfortable in the hot tub at a party & she’ll ask HIM to get up & get her a drink. She asks him to leave his own plate at a meal to grab her something she forgot. She often asks him to carry her purse eventually, on a day out & walking around.

When we drive together we’ll share the aux & she often picks songs that neither Josh nor I like at all & just laugh when we grimace, saying it’s her turn so we can deal w/ it. If we’re all out together, the night is over the SECOND Jill tells him she’d like to go home, whether or not the rest of us would like to stay out.

She really seems to be overstepping her bounds. This person does not seem abusive, and if Josh doesn’t have a problem with it, why does she?

I’ve never said anything to Josh, because I didn’t want to upset him or put my nose in. But a few nights ago, when we were at a party & he’d just brought her a THIRD beer & she’d gone outside with it to take out the host’s dog, I pulled Josh aside & said something.

Basically just said that I’m kind of worried about him, don’t think it’s right how Jill makes him wait on her, & asked him if he was really cool with being treated like a servant.

He clearly doesn’t have an issue with it.

He asked what I meant. I told him, I just felt like Jill was rude sometimes & sort of controlling w/ the things she asked for. Josh seemed surprised & sort of laughed it off, saying he was happy to do it & I didn’t have to worry.

I wasn’t really happy w/ his answer & it kind of made me MORE worried, but I let it go & the night went on.

I think Josh is 100% correct in confronting her about this.

Today I got a text from Josh saying that he disliked the things I said about Jill, that he didn’t appreciate me ‘bashing her character’, and that he was surprised at me.

Then it said that Jill and he are partners, she treats him like gold & that he loves me a lot but would prefer if I stayed out of their relationship business.

Everyone is telling her that she is out of line, but she won’t listen to it. She is clearly the problem.

I’m hurt & kind of pissed. When I talked about it w/ a couple mutual friends, they both said hands down I’m in the wrong and that I need to get off Jill’s case.

But I think she could really stand to work on her manners. Josh is so nice that I worry she takes advantage & he just doesn’t see it.

I have a feeling she won’t really let it go.

I’m letting it go, and respecting his request. But was I really the AH?

AITA?

This is one of those situations where everyone in the world can agree that this woman is in the wrong, but she still won’t agree. The fact that she expressed her concerns could easily be forgiven, but that she doesn’t seem to want to let it go is way out of line. She will eventually push this couple out of her life, and who could blame them.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about this situation.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who was stunned when her friends finally admitted the reason for their falling out.

Minding your own business is almost always the right move, especially when you are told to drop it.

If Josh doesn’t mind doting on his wife, why does this lady? She really needs to back off before she causes more problems.

Nothing that she is doing is anywhere near abusive. I don’t think she even needed to bring it up, but she definitely needs to drop it.

Some people love taking care of others. It seems like it is working in their relationship.

This commenter says that she is just jealous of them, and I think they are right. She really needs to let this go before she loses them both as friends.

It is one thing to bring up some concerns, but she is taking this too far. Honestly, given the fact that she is friends with both of them, maybe she should have brought it up with them both at the same time. If she keeps pushing this, or even if she just doesn’t apologize, she is going to lose the friendship of both of them.