When one parent gets remarried it is great when the step-parent can get along well with the kids, but that doesn’t always happen. Unfortunately, many step-parents try to force a relationship, which only seems to make things worse.

What would you do if your stepmom was trying to force her way into a ‘moms group’ that included the mothers of all your friends, but they refused to let her in because you and your sister didn’t really like her?

That is what happened to the teen in this story, and when his stepmom brought up how unhappy she was at this, he made his opinion about the situation a little bit too clear. Now, he’s wondering if he should’ve reacted differently.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for shrugging off my dad’s wife being excluded by my friends moms?

My dad and Rebecca have been married since I (16m) was 7 and my sister (15f) was 6.

Quick background: My parents were not divorced when my mom died but they were going through a divorce.

When they first separated, it was because my mom had changed a lot and was undiagnosed with brain cancer at the time which had caused a lot of behavioral changes.

It is good that they figured out what was causing the behavior changes.

I still remember how big those changes were.

The diagnosis came just before she died.

While my parents were separated, dad met Rebecca and they got married 3 months after mom died. They had pushed the wedding up since they were no longer waiting for the divorce.

It isn’t uncommon for a new wife to dislike the old, but she should be more understanding due to the details of her illness.

Rebecca has always had a very negative perception of mom because dad has told her about her behavior before they separated.

She said our mom was a bad parent and she would make sure we know what a good mom looks like.

From almost the beginning of their marriage she has called herself our mom.

Years later I found out she knew back when she married my dad that she couldn’t have kids of her own.

You can’t force kids to like a step-mom. Sadly, many step-mothers try to push too hard, which only makes the kids like them less.

My sister and I have never liked Rebecca because of the stuff she says about mom.

Dad knows how we feel and after he did some therapy, he would tell her to stop.

But he also told us that we should understand that Rebecca loves us and feels like we deserve the best and she might say the wrong thing because of that sometimes.

The Moms should really be more understanding of the situation, I would think.

With all that out of the way I can explain the problem.

I have a pretty big friend group. Six of the moms of my friends have made their own little mom group where they can get together and vent and hang out.

I think sometimes they use it to plan who’ll host something or will volunteer to chaperone some things.

The moms in the group all know my sister and I do not consider Rebecca our mom and that we dislike her.

I wonder why they refuse to let her in the group. Whether the kids like her or not, she does fill the role of mother to these kids.

My sister is also part of the friend group so they know her feelings too.

Rebecca wanted to join the group so many times over the years and was always kept out.

Then a month ago Rebecca actually approached the moms when she saw them out for coffee together and asked why she was never welcomed in.

Honestly, this does seem needlessly hurtful.

They told her she was not a mom and so they weren’t going to include her.

She argued back that she’s mine and my sister’s mom.

They said we say differently and that our opinion matters more. They also told her that they were never going to make things uncomfortable for the kids by including her since it would mean she would be around the friend group for certain group stuff we’ve done together.

While those other moms handled it poorly, that isn’t the kids fault.

Rebecca vented over dinner to us about it and I shrugged her off when she asked what I had to say.

The truth is I don’t feel the tiniest bit bad that she’s been excluded.

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But she was upset and dad told me I should be kinder.

AITA?

No. Even if the moms group was unnecessarily mean, that doesn’t require the kids to be supportive. They are kids and shouldn’t even be brought into the middle of this. Sadly, Rebecca is trying too hard and will likely just push the kids further away.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a bride whose sweet tribute to her biological family was foiled by her jealous adoptive mother.

Read on to see what the people in the comments on Reddit have to say about this situation.

She isn’t doing a great job as a step-mom, but hopefully it isn’t too late.

She is trying too hard to replace their mom rather than being a great step-mom.

All of this is her own fault and she needs to deal with it like an adult.

This is an issue between the other moms and stepmom. Involving the kids in any way is a mistake.

She should have never brought the kids into this. It isn’t their problem to worry about.

She needs to leave the kids out of this and let their relationship develop naturally. Trying to force the kids to like her or defend her just makes things awkward and won’t give them any reason to get closer to her.