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Family events can sometimes bring more stress than joy.

The following story is about a person who didn’t want to attend their cousin’s wedding due to strained family relationships and personal discomfort.

Not only do they have to travel, but their family also does not accept their partner.

Now, she’s planning on skipping the wedding, but she’s worried about being the bad guy.

Do you think it’s okay for them to miss the wedding? Let’s take a closer look!

WIBTAH for not going to my cousin’s wedding? (28 and 24F/25M)

Her wedding is in late June. I would have to fly into the airport near my hometown.

I would spend the night at my parents’ house.

Then, I would drive with them to the wedding and back.

I would spend a few days at my parents’ house. This is expected.

Then, I would fly back home.

This person is not particularly close with their cousin.

My parents have offered to pay for this for me.

I am finishing a graduate program that is unpaid. This is a very appreciated offer, of course.

The thing is, this cousin and I are not particularly close.

I also have a girlfriend of five years. I am gay. My family has not met her.

They know about her, but they do not really approve of her.

They also do not acknowledge her or ask about her, which is fine. I guess that is their choice.

Their relationship with their mom is not very good.

I love my life. But obviously, this means I do not have a plus one since they have not met her.

But it still feels like a lot. Relatedly, my relationship with my mom has been strained.

This has been the case since I told her about my girlfriend six or eight months ago.

As a smaller aside, I have another concern.

The thought of wearing a dress or anything nice like heels or sandals for this Southern wedding makes me uncomfortable.

That would be the expectation. Otherwise, I would break it and add more stress for myself.

It makes me truly want to spontaneously combust.

They do not want to go, but they’re willing to send gifts and well wishes.

My thing is, I just do not want to go. I would be stressed and uncomfortable and anxious.

I know this. I feel this way around just my parents anyways.

Last Thanksgiving was so stressful. My mom was talking about autism and vaccines and everything.

I do not want this to be some kind of protest. I am not trying to abstain.

I can send a nice card and a gift. I can text her hugs and well wishes the day before.

But going to a wedding is not particularly meaningful to me.

Now, their dad is aksing is they have RSVP’d yet.

An RSVP is asking if I would like to come. It is not a court summons.

But this morning, I got a text from my dad.

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He asked if I had RSVP’d to the royal wedding.

WIBTA?

They already said it. It’s not a court summons. They have every right to decline an invitation they are not comfortable with.

I guess their reasons are valid. They know their limits, and that matters a lot.

Sometimes, the problem is really simple, but family expectations make it a lot more complicated.

Let’s check out the comments of other people on this story.

Here’s a simple response.

This person makes a valid point.

This one makes sense, too.

Another person chimes in.

You don’t have to give a reason, says this one.

Protecting your well-being is the most important decision to make.

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Author

Heide Lazaro

Heide Lazaro is a veteran human-interest writer and digital culture expert with over a decade of experience in editorial strategy. Specializing in lifestyle, social dynamics, and the internet's most compelling stories, Heide has authored and published more than 10 books online. Beyond her daily reporting, she is a dedicated motivational speaker who helps audiences connect through the power of storytelling. When she isn't sifting through the web's wildest real-life drama, Heide is an avid runner, painter, and novel-enthusiast fueled by a truly excellent cup of coffee.