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When you’re young and looking for a partner, things can get complicated, especially when your friend likes someone who is interested in you.

What would you do if a guy was flirting with you, but you knew that your friend liked him?

That is what happened to the young lady in this story, so she immediately told her friend and asked if she was going to pursue him. After initially saying that she was, her friend then changed her mind and said that she wasn’t going to anymore, and that this woman was free to flirt back. So, of course, she did.

Unfortunately, she later heard that her friend was talking badly about her behind her back, so she wonders if she should have ignored the guy even though her friend said it was fine.

Personally, I think she handled the situation well, and her friend is just insecure. Read through the full story below and see if you agree.

AITAH for considering talking to a guy after my friend told me it would upset her, then changed her mind?

I (F24) met a guy recently and thought he was cute.

Ok, no big deal. Things happen.

It wasn’t a huge crush or anything serious, more like “he seems interesting, maybe something could happen.”

Then I found out that one of my close friends had similar feelings to him too, so I immediately backed off and didn’t pursue anything.

Honest communication is important in situations like this.

Last night we were at a party together. The guy approached me and flirted with me several times throughout the night. I noticed it, but I ignored it because I knew my friend liked him.

At one point my friend came over, and I decided to be completely honest. I told her that I knew she liked him, that he had been flirting with me, and that while I would normally be interested in responding, I wouldn’t do anything if it would hurt her.

Her friend likes him, so she wants to see what will happen.

She told me that yes, it would bother her and make her feel bad.

I immediately said, “Okay, then nothing is going to happen. Don’t worry about it.”

Why is her friend talking badly about her? She did the exact right thing.

A few minutes later, though, she came back and said she had changed her mind. She said the guy didn’t seem very interested in her, that she wasn’t planning on pursuing him anyway, and that I should do whatever I wanted.

I thought that settled it. But later I found out that she had apparently been talking badly about me behind my back regarding the whole situation.

I think her friend is way out of line.

For context, I never flirted back, never made a move, and only considered it after she explicitly told me she was okay with it.

AITA?

If I had to guess, I would say that her friend is just upset that the guy didn’t pick her, so she needs someone to blame. It isn’t a healthy way to handle it, but it would make sense.

Read on to see if the people in the comments have anything to say about it.

She handled it as well as possible. Her friend is just insecure and jealous.

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This commenter is exactly right.

Yup, she is just jealous.

This commenter says that she should go after the guy.

I think this commenter is right.

Her friend is just jealous and not really a good friend at all. If she had a problem with her flirting back, she should have said something. Even if it was after she changed her mind.

Honest communication is important in any good friendship, and that is just not something that this person is bringing to the table. It may cause drama again down the road.

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Author

Michael Levanduski