A Simple Habit Became A Constant Fight After He Moved Home And Refused To Lock The Doors
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Basic household safety shouldn’t become an ongoing debate between adults sharing the same home.
For months, one man ignored requests to lock the front door, dismissed concerns, and blamed repeated failures on accidents.
Instead of accepting a digital solution that gave everyone access, his older brother dismantled and disabled the lock entirely.
This stopped looking accidental.
AITA for asking my brother to lock the door and installing a lock?
My brother moved in with my mom and me in June.
For months I’ve been asking him to lock the front door when he leaves.
He refuses, says stuff like “accidents happen,” “you’re being paranoid,” “no one’s coming through the gate,” “there are dogs,” and otherwise dismisses me.
Time for a new lock.
A few week ago he left the door unlocked around 4am; came back after my mom locked the door rang the doorbell at least 17 times our dogs alerted us.
A week later, I installed a digital lock and gave the code to everyone so we could avoid the same issue.
A few days later he took the back off the lock, reset/disabled it, and left the back panel off so that everyone could see he had done it.
Understandably, they’re concerned.
I see this as a clear violation of the house’s safety.
He’s dismissive about my concerns, has a history of minimizing things I say, and now he’s actively sabotaged a safety device.
I don’t want this to escalate to something that could hurt my mom or me, and I don’t feel heard.
A list of worries follows.
Questions:
How should I handle him refusing to carry a key and deliberately disabling the lock?
How do I set boundaries so he takes household safety seriously?
Any recommendations on what to do next?
Am I being unreasonable about wanting doors locked?
How do I handle someone who sabotages security measures?
What would you do if a family member consistently ignored your safety concerns?
Thanks for any advice.
Those are a lot of really good questions.
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Check out what the comments on Reddit had to say:
This person knows exactly what happens when the doors are left unlocked.
Some said the reason wasn’t important.
There’ a mental health issue to consider.
Something has to change.
Installing a coded lock was a reasonable response to repeated unlocked doors, especially after a late-night incident disturbed the household and alarmed the dogs.
His brother’s decision to disable it crossed from carelessness into deliberate sabotage, so clear household rules and firm consequences are warranted.
Bro declared war on a deadbolt.
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