Weddings are supposed to be once in a lifetime events, and even if that doesn’t end up being the case, those days are special when they’re happening.

Most people want to share their wedding day with those closest to them, particularly family, as long as everyone gets along.

OP describes himself as an introvert who really hates crowds, but as he loves his son and likes his daughter-in-law, he planned to attend. He did tell his son he would likely be leaving early, though.

My son, Alan (26M) has just recently gotten married to Helen (25-26F). I love them both very much. It’s relevant to mention that I really dislike parties and large gatherings, I’m not sociable at all and I really just dislike them. So it was kind of a downer when I heard that Alan and Helen were going to have a wedding with around 150 people.

I told Alan ahead of time that I would probably leave early and that me and the rest of our family would take two cars so that they could stay if they wanted to. He looked like he didn’t mind at the time.

When the big day arrived, he decided to leave before the reception really began, as he was itching to go and the food “didn’t look that good.” He also convinced his wife to leave, too, since they had ridden together.

So at the wedding itself, after the ceremony I basically told him that I was glad and it looked great but I was going to go home. He asked if I was going to at least stay for cake or for food but the food didn’t look all that appetizing to me so I told him I was just going to leave.

He said “alright whatever just go” and I went back to my table to get my stuff.

I told my wife and she said she didn’t feel comfortable driving back alone (the venue was very far from us and the roads there were not great). I said in that case she should come with me and after some hemming and hawing she agreed. So we left.

A few days later he got a call from his daughter-in-law, berating him for leaving and telling him that he’d ruined the night for his son – a feeling his son confirmed.

Then two days later my son’s new wife bombarded us with messages that she was disgusted with us, saying horrible things about us and insulting us as people and as parents. Really just sickening.

I told her off and asked why she thought it was okay to talk to her in laws like that and she said that us leaving “ruined” the wedding for Alan and that he was very upset for the rest of the night.

She continued to berate us.

I politely told her to leave us alone and called Alan, mainly to inform him that his wife had a temper that he should know about.

When we talked about it he basically started berating me too and said things like “you always do this” and “just leave me alone” before hanging up. I feel like I’m justified since I told him ahead of time that I wasn’t going to stay. AITA here?

He really wants to know whether or not he was wrong for leaving after he’d told his son he would probably do so.

Yes there was a mother son dance planned. Yes he included me in the count for the food costs. Yes I love him.

No this does not mean that I do not care about him.

And whoo boy, I can’t wait to hear what Reddit has to tell this man.

The top comment just let’s OP have it.

And this person agrees that his son deserves so much better.

This comment confirms that it’s possible to do things that make you uncomfortable for the people you love.

They say being an introvert is not an excuse for treating people poorly.

This person, and many others, agree that there was probably a big mis-read on OP’s part.

Y’all, I would have been devastated.

I hope OP is able to pull his head out of his bum.