She Made Her Husband Pay For A Financial Mistake Out Of His Own “Fun Money.” Was She Wrong?
by Trisha Leigh
Couples all have different ways of managing money, especially when they have joint debt or expenses.
This couple manages their money by depositing everything into a joint account for bills and joint expenses, and then they transfer a certain amount into a “fun” account for them each.
My husband and I have an “allowance” system that prevents a lot of arguments about incidental spending.
Both of our salaries go into a joint account for all bills, investments, and agreed-upon purchases.
The allowance is a smaller amount ($50-$100/week, but always equal for each of us) that gets moved to separate accounts for each of us, with the understanding that we can spend this money on whatever, no permission needed.
Usually it’s spent on individual hobbies/splurges. This works well for us.
Recently, OP saw that their credit card bill included a $73 charge monthly and after some digging, realized that her husband signed up for YouTubeTV so that he could watch a game out of town and forgot to cancel it.
Today, I was looking through my husband’s credit card bill that I had used recently (with his permission) to make some travel arrangements. We don’t keep any secret bills. This credit card is auto-paid from our joint account.
I saw a $73 charge to YouTube and asked him about it. He said he didn’t remember buying anything, so I dug further. Turns out he had subscribed to YouTube TV last December to watch a football game on a road trip and forgot about it.
I had no idea because this was his YouTube account, his email notifications, his credit card.
The total charges added up to about $675.
She got upset, as the total was some $675, and told him he would have to pay that amount back to their joint account from his fun account.
I admit I was annoyed and made some short comments. “You should always set a reminder to cancel these things.” “If you were responsible about checking your emails, this might not have happened.”
There is a history of him being irresponsible with bills and missing important emails. I manage almost all the finances. We’re in good shape, but I hate the idea of waste.
We weren’t even utilizing that expensive subscription, he paid that money to watch one thing ten months ago.
I told him that to be fair he’d have to pay the $675 out of his “fun money”.
He was upset, saying she was punishing him for a mistake and everyone makes them, but she moved the money on her own.
He had more than enough in there because he was saving for a bigger hobby purchase.
I cancelled the YT subscription on his phone, then used the banking app on my phone to move the money from his allowance account back to the joint account.
I probably should’ve asked him to move the money himself, but I was upset. I felt more calm after doing the $ transfer because to me the matter was then settled.
This will mean he has to wait several more months for a hobby purchase he had been saving up for, but she doesn’t see the issue.
He got irritated and said he shouldn’t have to pay out of his allowance for a simple mistake. I said “Everyone has to pay for their mistakes. That’s how life works.”
Maybe I was harsh. But the wasted money was all on him. I don’t see any better way to resolve it.
He pointed out that we are doing fine financially, we are fortunate that $675 out of the joint account won’t affect our budgeting for the month, but it will make a big difference to his saving for his hobbies as it is close to 2 month’s “allowance.”
It was the principle of the matter to me. I’m very careful with money. No matter how well we do financially, I’ll always look for good deals and avoid profligate spending.
Does Reddit think she was too harsh? I think this one will be interesting!
The top comment says it’s crazy to not notice that big of a monthly charge you don’t recognize.
For this person, though, it’s the way she went about it.
They say she should cut her husband some slack.
But this commenter says this is the best way for him to learn a lesson.
This commenter reminds OP that they’re supposed to be a team.
I think they can work this out.
At least, if they can communicate and work this one out!
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