There’s an unspoken rule that you don’t say anything controversial to another person’s children without their express written consent.

Even people who don’t understand social cues should be able to understand that – but apparently that’s not always the case.

OP had a friend or acquaintance who was very bright and knew it.

So, I’ve got an acquaintance (Richard) who has always been of the “I know better than you” school of thought. What makes it worse is that he literally received his PHD in physics from one of my country’s top universities about 6 months ago, so he’s not a dummy.

The problem is that he thinks that because he’s a physics genius, that means he knows better than everyone about everything.

In fact, he was never wrong.

Just an example, my kids are in Montessori schools. This is a decision my wife and I reached together, and we’re very happy with it. When he heard, he went on a 30-minute rant/lecture about how we’re throwing our money away and Montessori is nonsense.

When I told him that I had read and even professionally translated studies proving the opposite, and gave him some real-world examples (Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Sergey Brin, Jeff Bezos, Larry Page, etc.), he still would not admit he might not be 100% correct.

Not the subject of this revenge, but so you understand the person we’re dealing with.

Another thing that’s important to note is that Richard does NOT have Asperger’s or anything similar. We joke about this all the time, and he’s been tested from here until next week. He’s just a really smart, socially oblivious, pain in the ass.

When the two met at a gathering that involved families, the smartypants friend decided to teach OP’s child a thing or two.

Given all of the above, I try to limit my time with him, but unfortunately, that isn’t always possible, and last week we were both at the same group braai for a friend (Jack) who was visiting back home from overseas.

I’ve known Jack since grade school, so we brought our families and made it more than just a “Long time, no see” type of thing.

At some point later on in the afternoon my eldest (Awesome, <10 y/o) came to me really sad and said she wanted to go home.

When I asked her way, she said that Richard had just spent 15 minutes telling her that she shouldn’t eat hotdogs because they’re unhealthy, and he explained what went into hotdogs and what they’re made out of.

Awesome is not a vegetarian, knows that the beef and chicken she eats used to be live animals, and has never professed interest in vegetarianism.

At the same time, when a kid is eating a hotdog, they don’t care or want to know what’s inside.

We spoke a bit, I calmed her down and I told her to ignore Richard and go play with her siblings and her friends.

Being a kid, she was thankfully easily distracted by something else and moved on. I didn’t want to make a fuss with Jack or with Richard, so I just let it be. This turned out to be a mistake.

He tried handling it nicely, but that backfired.

About 30 minutes later I heard Awesome scream and begin crying. I ran over to her, Richard had come up to her and knocked her hotdog out of her hand, saying she shouldn’t eat that garbage.

I handed Awesome over to my wife for damage control, and I took Richard aside and told him that A) You don’t ever talk to a man’s kids without permission, B) You don’t ever teach a man’s kids without permission, and C), You sure don’t EVER touch a man’s kids without permission.

He doesn’t have kids, so I still wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. This turned out to be a mistake.

Instead of doing the mature thing and moving on, he decided to double down on the hotdog issue.

This was the hill he was going to die on, my kids shouldn’t be eating hot dogs.

Keeping Jack in mind, I disengaged and told him to stay away from my family. For the rest of the arvie I kept my eye on him, and he didn’t come near them.

Jack enjoyed, we all ate some good meat, end of the story as far as I’m concerned. This turned out to be a mistake.

In a big, big way.

A few days later we received a visit from a Child Protection Officer who claimed that we were neglecting our kids, specifically Awesome.

She came in and saw that while the house could have been cleaner (what house with kids is spotless?), everything was fine.

She sat with Awesome for a few minutes and asked her some questions, said everything was fine, and left.

First thing I did was call a friend of mine who is a lawyer, just to be on the safe side. He said it looked to him like we were in the clear, but we should keep in touch with him just in case.

Next, I began working the grapevine. It turned out that Richard had been offended by how I treated him after the hotdog incident, so he filed a false anonymous report.

Being Richard, and never thinking he could ever be wrong, he was even talking about it as if people should be proud of him for what he did.

So, OP went out to find a non-violent way to exact revenge.

I had to make sure, though, so the last thing I did before dropping the hammer on him was confronting him personally. I set my phone to record and went to his house.

He doubled down yet again, saying we were torturing Awesome, he’s the one who called Protective Services on us, and he’d do it again in a heartbeat. This turned out to be a mistake.

I’m not the violent type, but I swear I wanted to break the son of a bitch in half. I told him that if he came near myself or anyone in my family again, I’d have a restraining order put out on him, and I’d make sure every single one of our shared acquaintances knew why.

I listened to the recording in my car, and his admission that he filed a false report came out clear as day.

I immediately forwarded it to my lawyer, who said he’ll get the ball rolling with some friends of his with the Public Prosecutor to see if we could get Richard in trouble, using his admission.

Still waiting on that, the wheels of justice turn slowly

It went almost better than he could have hoped.

Then, I enacted my actual revenge.

See, after he got his PHD, Richard bragged about the new flat he’d be moving into as soon as he sold his current flat.

To that end, he renovated most of his current flat, including putting in lots of new (and expensive) features that required lots of electrical work. He did the same on his new flat.

He did most of the electrical work himself, which is a big no-no unless you’re licensed.

I called in an inspector on both of his flats, who asked to see certification on who did the electrical work.

Obviously, there was no certification.

It wouldn’t surprise me if, Richard being Richard, he began arguing with the inspector that his work was good enough and he didn’t need to pay someone else to do it for him.

I haven’t seen or spoken to Richard since, but I’ve heard that he had to bring in a certified electrician to examine every single change he made in both flats.

This meant dismantling EVERYTHING and having it inspected.

Turns out the buyers of his old flat weren’t happy with the delay in receiving the keys, and were even unhappier when they learned why there was a delay.

They walked away from the deal and are taking him to court. Because his sale fell through, he’s now in the hole paying mortgages on two flats.

I don’t know if there was a fine levied against him, but I sure as hope so.

Does Reddit think this long tale was worth it? Let’s find out!

They say the guy is lucky OP didn’t call the police.

This could have even been nuclear revenge.

His behavior really was appalling.

They’re impressed with OP’s restraint.

It’s kind of a physics thing.

As a parent, I would have been hopping mad.

I doubt I would have been as collected as this man was.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.