The balance of marriage, work, and home life is ever-shifting.

And communication and trust are the two ends of that balance stick that get you safely across each obstacle when they appear.

Like this story, where a woman (and the rest of anyone who read it), is flabbergasted at her husband’s demands.

AITA for telling my husband that if he pays me my hourly rate I will do more housework.

I am a Steamfitter. But I’ve been at it for a while and I’m in supervision.

With bonuses and incentives but not counting benefits I earn over $100 an hour.

OP then explains her work + home scenario.

I also work out of town.

I started doing that once the kids were old enough to take care of themselves with their dad at home. So when my youngest was in middle school and the oldest was a junior in high school.

It is great. Our retirement savings are piling up and we have been able to splurge on the kids. And ourselves.

The problem arises in this all-too-well-sounding story when the addition of a cleaning lady is tallied.

My husband is upset however because I decided to pay for a cleaning lady.

He and I discussed it and we agreed that him and the kids didn’t do a great job keeping the house clean and tidy while I was away. I hated coming home to a mess. It caused a few fights because it was like they expected me to come home and clean up after them.

Having her is fantastic. I come home to a clean house and I am happier.

My kids have more time to study and do extracurriculars. They still have chores and they are still expected to clean up after themselves.

The husband was having none of this though.

My husband came to me last time I was home and said we should cut back on the service when I’m home. That I should be doing more housework.

He thinks that we are wasting money. I said that I work 14 days in a row and that those are 13 hour days.

Yes it is mostly paperwork but his job as a teacher isn’t much more physically challenging.

I said that I could offer him two options. If he wanted we could completely get rid of the service and him and the kids could make sure the house was in good shape when I got home. Or he could pay me my hourly rate to do extra housework when I am on my days off.

He is upset with me and says that I’m being financially manipulative.

I think if he and the kids actually did what they are supposed to do when I’m away none of this would be an issue.

Let’s see what folks had to say down in the comments.

One person said this husband of hers needs to take action of his own if he wants the house cleaner and not pay for it.

Another commenter just flat out couldn’t believe the gall.

One person thought this convo needed to really be broken down to the basics…

While one commenter was just shaking their head, disappointed.

Yeah that’s a big no.

You also notice that she didn’t agree to traveling for work until her kids were old enough to take care of themselves – so she’s never trusted him to do a good job at home.

If you liked that story, check out this one about a delivery driver who gave two weeks notice… so his employer disabled his truck when he was 300 miles from home!