She Never Kept A Money Secret From Her Husband, But Then She Found Out He’d Sent Hundreds Of Dollars To A Coworker
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When you are in a marriage or other serious relationship, it is important to ensure you are on the same page with your partner and that you don’t have any secrets.
What would you do if you accidentally discovered that your husband had sent a significant amount of money to a woman he worked with, but he never told you about it?
That is what happened in this story, and when she confronted him about it, he got very defensive and angry.
It really seems like he is cheating on her, but even if he isn’t, he is being deceptive, which is not ok. Read through the full story below and see what you think of what happened.
AIO My husband has been giving money to a female coworker without telling me.
I am a home health nurse. Most of my patients are elderly, disabled, and on a fixed income.
This is very generous of her.
There have been many times when I have helped them cover the copay on their prescriptions or bought them some groceries.
Since this consists of giving money to people, I cleared it with my husband, and I use the card for our shared checking account for complete transparency.
Well, this is suspicious.
I do not make unusual financial decisions unilaterally, even small ones.
Fast forward to a couple of days ago. We were looking at the map on his phone when a text came through from one of the medical assistants he works with (my husband is a doctor).
The text basically said that the raise he lobbied for her to get from the hospital hasn’t been enough to really help her, and can he please give her money again. AGAIN.
He is deflecting and maybe feeling guilty.
I knew nothing of this. When I expressed my surprise, my husband immediately became angry and defensive and said that she didn’t have money to feed her kids, and he can’t believe that I wouldn’t want him to help her out.
Keep in mind that I haven’t even said anything at this point other than, “What?”
Money secrets can ruin any relationship.
I honestly don’t know what to think. We are both generous people. I donate my time and money to food banks and generally do what I can on a regular basis to help those around me.
However, I don’t do this “secretly.” I tell my husband about $15 for someone’s prescriptions, for goodness sake, because I believe it is the right thing to do in our marriage.
You don’t just forget about this type of thing.
If he truly believed that he needed to give this woman money, I would probably have supported him. But now all I see is the secret.
He claims it was $500 one time, and he just “forgot” to tell me about it. I did not see a cash withdrawal come out of our checking account for that amount of money, so that makes it feel even more like a secret to me.
Am I Overreacting?
He is clearly doing something that he shouldn’t, and he knows it. If he isn’t having an affair with her, he is still doing something wrong. The fact that he got upset when he got caught is even more suspicious.
Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about it.
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He is definitely cheating.
Yup, even $20 to another woman is out of line, though.
Nobody would forget about sending $500. He is lying.
Any reasonable person would be suspicious here.
This is one way to handle it.
Sending another woman money secretly is a form of cheating, and he has likely done much more than that. She needs to get to the bottom of this and figure out what to do next.
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