Her Sister Trashed Her For Not Giving Enough Money To The Family, But Now She’s Secretly Asking Her Husband For A Loan
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It is great to help your family when you can, but you shouldn’t be guilt-tripped into offering more money than you can afford to your relatives.
What would you do if you had been giving some money to your family for some time (even though you didn’t work and only your husband did), but your sister kept badmouthing you for not giving more?
Then, what would you do if your sister reached out to your husband directly, asking to borrow some money rather than going through you?
That is what is happening to the woman in this story, and she feels disrespected and wants to tell her sister to back off. Personally, I think she is right. Read through the full story below and see if you agree.
Am I overreacting, or did my sister cross a boundary by asking my husband for money?
Hi guys, I’m 26 years old and a housewife. I’ve been married for four years.
It is great to help family when you can.
My husband provides for me, but from the beginning of our marriage, he’s also been helping my family financially. I have a very large family, and over the years we’ve helped my parents, my siblings, and whoever needed help. Honestly, I’ve spent more time helping my family than myself.
One of my sisters is divorced and her ex husband is a dead beat who doesn’t support her. But she has a job, which enables her to supports her own family, and also our extended family.
Why would this be a competition?
She’s been doing this for years and I always looked up to her and had a lot of respect for her. So, when I got married I also started helping out at home as best as I could.
A few weeks ago, I found out she’d been talking badly about me behind my back. Apparently, she’s been telling people that my contributions are too small and comparing them to hers, saying she gives more than I do.
Anyone would be hurt by this.
That really hurt because she has a salary, while I don’t. Everything I’ve contributed has ultimately come from our household, and my husband has been incredibly generous over the years. I didn’t confront her because I don’t want to expose the person who told me.
We also had another disagreement recently (unrelated to money), and we’re currently not on speaking terms.
Well, isn’t this interesting?
Today, she texted my husband directly asking him to help her with money. She has an emergency and she said she’ll pay him back. She didn’t message me at all. She went straight to him.
He immediately sent me a screenshot because he didn’t want to respond without me knowing. This is what’s bothering me. If she isn’t even willing to speak to me, why is she comfortable asking my husband for money?
The sister really shouldn’t have gone directly to the husband.
It also puts my husband in a very awkward position. He’s already helped my family a lot over the years, and I’ve always worried that too much responsibility is being placed on him simply because he’s married to me.
He didn’t marry into the family to become everyone’s financial provider.
Setting boundaries is a good idea.
What hurts even more is that she’s been criticizing and mocking our contributions behind our backs. I want to contact her and confront her.
If you were in my position, would you tell her to stop contacting your spouse and asking for money, or would you just let it go?
Am I overreacting?
This is a hard situation to be in, for sure. On the one hand, she was legitimately wronged and needs to deal with this situation. On the other hand, she likely doesn’t want to ruin the relationship with her sister forever.
Take a look at what the people in the comments have to say about what happened.
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This might be extreme, but it does happen.
Her sister really should not be going directly to her husband.
Talking this out like adults is the clear way to go.
Here is a commenter who recommends that they don’t give her a thing.
This person thinks the sister should be talking to her directly, not through the husband.
If her sister doesn’t appreciate what they do for the family, she doesn’t deserve to get that loan. On top of that, she was out of line for reaching out to the husband only.
At the end of the day, this is an unhealthy family dynamic that she needs to set some boundaries for.
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