P.E. was always a bit…of a drag.

Even if you were an athlete, it was the forced nature of it all that just made it seem so much worse than it actually probably was.

Unless you were forced to run ~3 miles in ~100º F heat!

Then it didn’t seem worse. It just was the worst.

Well that’s our setting for this story, and the wonderful teacake revenge that followed.

A P.E. teacher got the smallest ½ teacake for several years and didn’t know why

When I was in high school back in the 80’s, my mother did volunteer work in the high school canteen, along with a few others that had their children at the school too. This canteen served both the students, staff and teachers.

Like most canteens of the time and area, we had meat pies, sausage rolls, (and a particular favourite of a buttered bun, with a sausage roll in it & tomato sauce. As we used to say “buttered bun sausage roll ‘n sauce thanks”) a variety of sandwiches, cakes, drinks, etc. One of these tasty cakes was a buttered 1/2 tea cake. This was very popular!

We get an incredibly detailed breakdown of the thermodynamics of a teacake.

{For those that don’t know what a tea cake is, think of a slight sweet white bread with sultanas in it and pink icing in top. These things were usually a little larger than 30cm (12 inches) long, approximately 16 to 18cm (6 1/3 to 7 inches) wide, and about 5 to 7cm (2 to 2 3/4 inches) high.}

The canteen would cut them in half and then slice them down the centre and butter them. Very yummy, but not so good for you, this was the 80’s. Bite me! 🙂

OP had to do their 5km (3mi) run in THIS weather?!

One day there was a cross-country run for P.E. (physical exercise as it was called back then) and everyone had to do this run of about 5km (just over 3 miles). This particular day was about 35°-40°C (95° F to 104° F) might have even been hotter I can’t remember but it was HOT!

The cross country run was in the morning and lunchtime wasn’t long afterwards so if you finished the run early you could go to lunch. My mum was in the canteen and noticed all these students coming up to the serving window with flushed red cheeks, profusely sweating and looking like some were suffering from heat stroke.

Mum knew this was NOT a good situation for anyone to be subjected to.

And she let PE teacher guy have it.

After seeing so many she asked why they were all so hot and sweaty and of course they all said “the cross country” My mum used to work at a very reputable children’s Hospital in England before they came to Australia, so basically she knew her stuff!

Having a huge stature of massive 4 feet and 5 1/2 inches (136 cm) she walked down to the boys quadrangle where the P.E. teachers rooms were and proceeded to, in front of all the boys, rip strips off the P.E. teacher responsible for conducting the cross country on such a hot day, (back in those days we weren’t allowed to bring a bottle of water either. Madness!)

My mum didn’t allow him to get a word in edge ways! All the boys watching were laughing and joking how such a short lady was putting the tall a*****e P.E. teacher in his place.

But she wasn’t done there, ohhhhhh no.

The punishment shall be endless.

Now for the petty revenge! My mum went back to the canteen and of course told all the other canteen ladies, what had just happened and why all the kids are looking really hot, flustered and about to collapse! This teacher always got a 1/2 tea cake for recess, so the next day my mum found the smallest tea cake, and cut it “not very in half” …

And that teacher got the short end of the stick so to speak. All the other canteen ladies thought that was a fitting punishment for putting, not only their children, but all the other children through a very unnecessary run on such a hot day.

This was then adopted so that teacher automatically got the smallest 1/2 tea cake. This continued for a few years till the teacher finally spat the dummy at always having the smallest tea cake.

Flash forward to present day.

To find out about this pretty petty revenge is oh so sweet.

Now, several years later I was recounting this story to a friend and his friends. I got to the end of the story and one of my friends friend asked if that was at ***** high school, the school I went too. I said sure was! A slight pause and they then said “my dad was that P.E. teacher” … I froze and thought Oh s***, I’ve stuffed up here!

They then smiled and said “it’s ok, he’s a {see you next Tuesday}! No one likes him” She mentioned her Dad had complained about always getting a small ½ tea cake. Now she knew why, but wasn’t going to tell her Dad. I wonder if she ever did… Petty Revenge complete!

Unfortunately my mum passed away quite a few years ago and won’t ever know that her petty revenge has been spread to the world for others to enjoy. Thanks Mum for the greatest of times!

Full circle fantastic ending.

Let’s see what people had to say.

One person knew right away where this story took place.

I was thinking England the whole time.

Great, now I’m hungry.

One commenter was aghast at that heat, and how cavalier PE teachers used to be about it.

While one commenter called out the heartwarming nature of that ending.

That’s not petty, that’s awesome.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.