Kids can be a lot of work and need lots of attention, especially when they are small.

If both parents are busy with work (or looking for a job) it can be helpful to have a family member come over to help out around the house, if they are able.

While this can be great for everyone involved, sometimes the parents start to expect too much from their family members.

That’s what happened in this story, and OP had to tell her sister-in-law that she needed to pay attention to her kid too, and not just her job hunt.

Not surprisingly, this caused some problems. Read on to get the details.

AITA for telling my SIL her ‘job’ doesn’t mean she stops caring about her kid?

Ok, so I (20M) have an older brother Oliver, (24M).

Oliver had a kid pretty early (accident) and due to our culture got married to Sasha, (27F) and has a 4 year old, Lily.

They both had to pretty much put their life on hold for Lily, Sasha having nothing to do with her BA in English Lit and Oliver working like 3 jobs.

Looking for a job and going through training can be very stressful and time consuming, but she should still have some time for her child.

Now that Lily is soon to start school so Sasha can finally do something with her degree, she wants to be a teacher, so that means training and tests and programs, which means she can’t really do anything with Lily in the meantime.

Oliver took a few days off to try and give Sasha a grace period but eventually called me and begged me to help him.

That is very generous of OP to be willing to help.

I’m on summer break so why not.

Currently I’m staying at their house to help out with Lily.

Problem is, I’m not just helping, I’m doing everything.

Come on, this is just not true. I guarantee that Sasha is not spending 16+ hours a day looking for a job.

Sasha says finding a job is basically a full time job itself but even people with fulltime jobs can say ‘hello’ to their kid once in a while.

She’s not speaking to Lily pretty much at all, ignores her when she cries.

I’m also doing most of her work around the house now.

This is more than mildly concerning OP. They are taking advantage of you.

I don’t mind doing this for a bit but this is mildly concerning (at least to me).

I mean if Sasha can’t look at her kid while preparing for a job, what’s gonna happen when she actually gets one.

Wow. Sasha actually snapped her fingers? I would have walked out on the spot.

This came to a head yesterday when Sasha made her daughter cry and then snapped her fingers at me to take care of it.

I did it, because I was worried about Lily.

But after I’d settled Lily I went back to Sasha and told her that her ‘job’ doesn’t mean she stops caring about her kid.

She called me an ass, said I had no idea about adult problems, I’m just a kid who can’t even drink yet.

Idk, I’m not sure.

She thinks I’m an ass but I don’t think this is normal behavior. I mean I don’t have my own kid so Idk.

AITA?

OP is far from the AH here and has really gone above and beyond to help her brother and sister-in-law.

SIL, on the other hand, is an entitled AH.

And, while this story doesn’t have many details on the brother here, he is an AH too for letting his sister get treated this way.

OP should leave immediately and let Sasha take care of her own family.

I am sure that other Redditors will agree, but let’s take a look at some comments to be sure.

Yeah, OP is the only one acting like an adult in the whole situation.

Yup. I would have left immediately. Sasha is a real piece of work and needs to be put in her place.

This is a bad situation for the niece, but OP isn’t responsible for fixing it.

This is exactly right. Sasha wants a free maid so she can ignore her kid.

Yup, OP needs to put an end to this unhealthy situation for the good of everyone involved.

Being a parent needs to be your priority.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.