She Spent Years Asking Her Boyfriend To Go To Japan With Her, But He Kept Planning Trips With Friends Instead — And Finally Went Without Her
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It’s hard not to feel hurt when your partner keeps making room for everyone but you.
One woman has been dealing with that because her boyfriend has spent years trying to plan a trip to Japan with his friends.
Every time the plans fell through, she told him she’d love to go, but he never really considered her an option.
Then, after she had to spend her savings on a replacement car and started a new job with no PTO, he announced that he’s going next month no matter what.
When she tried to explain why that hurt and asked if they could work out another plan, he told her she should just be happy for him.
Read on to see how it all played out.
AITAH For being upset and trying to talk about a trip?
I (F26) and my BF, Bob (M27), have been together for almost five years.
Since 2020, Bob has been trying to plan a trip to Japan with his friends 3 times, and it has fallen through every time because the friends pulled out.
In that time, every time, I have expressed to Bob that I would LOVE to have the opportunity to go to Japan with him, but he refuses to even begin planning with me and has given no reason other than the fear of me pulling out last minute, and does not consider me as an option.
She tried to ease his worries, but it didn’t seem to work.
I have given him no reasons to be worried about my ability to pay, save, or plan, as we have taken plenty of other trips within the States and a few trips into Canada and Mexico.
Last night, he sprung it on me that he is, in fact, taking that trip next month. No matter what, even if the friends pull out.
Here are some key details that add some complexity: I got into a car accident not even a month ago. I’m okay, but the car didn’t make it. I had to use all of my savings (roughly $15K) to buy a new-to-me vehicle. I recently started a new job (about a month ago), so I have no PTO.
Unfortunately, he’s not even willing to negotiate.
But Bob is sitting on $20K and says that isn’t enough for two people to go to Japan for two weeks.
Again, I tried to talk to him about it.
I let him know how hurt I felt that I’ve been asking all these years and have never been considered, and asked if we could at least negotiate something so I could make it too, but I was told by Bob that I am the ** because I’m not just happy that he gets to go, and that was the end of the “conversation.”
AITA?
Wow. Bob sounds like a real piece of work.
Let’s see what the people over at Reddit think about this whole thing.
Aww! This is awesome!
These are interesting points.
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According to this comment, $20k is more than enough.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this postabout a man who thought he was staying with his brother for a month in his 1-bedroom Tokyo apartment, then got hit with a list of local hotels.
This is how it seems anyway.
Something about this doesn’t sit right.
After five years together, it’s strange that he keeps making plans with everyone else while refusing to even consider going with her.
She shouldn’t ignore that feeling just because he tells her to be happy for him.
At the very least, she needs to think seriously about whether this is the kind of relationship she wants long term. Because Bob sounds terrible.
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