March 22, 2025 at 4:20 am

Her Partner Moved In And Agreed To Share The Workload, But Now He’s Coming Home Late And Slacking On Chores

by Mila Cardozo

man napping on couch

Reddit/Unsplash

People who live together need to share chores.

No matter if they’re family, roommates or a couple.

But in this woman’s case, she feels like she’s doing way more than her partner.

After confronting him and listening to his point of view, she was left wondering who’s in the wrong.

Let’s analyze the situation.

AITA for not cleaning the kitchen?

My partner (26M) and I (24F) live together in a home that I recently purchased last year.

I put all of my savings into the home and pay 100% of the mortgage every month.

We split bills 50/50, including groceries.

My partner is in the process of gaining permanent residency – it’s a complicated family situation, but essentially his entire family is here but he’s not a citizen.

He’s also started within the past year his own commercial flooring business.

This means his business is still not that profitable.

He doesn’t get enough jobs to sustain his income full-time with his business, so he often does random labour subcontracting work.

I make a bit more money than him.

Anyway, given all this I decided I wouldn’t charge him any rent, since the house is in my name anyway.

The one agreement we had was that he would help me out with household chores.

It started well…

We are both trying to save money, so we try to eat out as little as possible.

Every night I come from work and cook a nice dinner, and he stacks the dishwasher and washes the pots/chopping boards that can’t go in the dishwasher.

I feel like this is an even share of workload.

But things changed.

Recently over the past couple of weeks, he’s been coming home pretty late, like around 9 pm.

I still cook dinner for him and wait for him to come.

But this week he’s told me he’s too exhausted to clean (fair enough).

But the issue is that I don’t want to come home from my job, spend an hour cleaning the kitchen, then another hour cooking.

I need time after work to debrief and relax.

So today I called him and told him I was just gonna get takeaway for dinner.

Things got tense, but she wonders if she’s in the wrong.

He got a little crabby at me and made a comment about how we were supposed to be saving money.

I told him I was tired and I couldn’t clean then cook then clean again.

He was kinda like “I’m working late, why can’t you just do it?”.

I don’t know, maybe I should be more polite and just clean the kitchen when he’s working late.

This disagreement became an issue.

But it kinda bugs me because he’s choosing to work late.

I’ve told him time and time again to just get a full-time job so he’s not constantly stressed about finding work for his business and doing subcontracting work that runs late.

But he told me he doesn’t want to “kiss anyone’s ***” and that he works well under his own direction.

She disagrees.

But in my opinion, that’s life.

I work under authority at my job and I deal with it in exchange for a consistent paycheck.

Also, I don’t think it’s fair that I’m sacrificing my time so he gets to earn more money for himself.

AITA?

Being an entrepreneur is his choice and it could pay off.

But he’s not following through with their agreement, and that’s not fair on her.

Let’s see what Reddit has to comment on this.

A reader offers some advice.

Screenshot 1 018a76 Her Partner Moved In And Agreed To Share The Workload, But Now Hes Coming Home Late And Slacking On Chores

This commenter shares their point of view.

Screenshot 2 a8faa7 Her Partner Moved In And Agreed To Share The Workload, But Now Hes Coming Home Late And Slacking On Chores

Something to ponder.

Screenshot 3 dc927b Her Partner Moved In And Agreed To Share The Workload, But Now Hes Coming Home Late And Slacking On Chores

Another reader chimes in.

Screenshot 4 40f1ae Her Partner Moved In And Agreed To Share The Workload, But Now Hes Coming Home Late And Slacking On Chores

This person sums it up.

Screenshot 5 862335 Her Partner Moved In And Agreed To Share The Workload, But Now Hes Coming Home Late And Slacking On Chores

The relationship doesn’t seem to be making sense anymore.

If he steps up and she respects his life choices, things might work out.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.