Living with an ex while navigating a divorce is awkward enough without emotional landmines.

So when her ex-husband invited a woman who had verbally attacked her to their child’s birthday, it stopped being a logistical arrangement and started feeling like a betrayal.

Read on for the full story!

AITA for saying no to someone my ex wants to invite to our daughters birthday

Me (29F) and let’s call him A (29M) have been together 15 years, married 3, and last month my husband came up to me and asked for a divorce.

But it’s been anything but a clean split.

The thing is we still have to live together (for logistical reasons) until he moves out in a couple of months.

As we live together, we both see our daughter (2F) every day, obviously.

The couple still has to coordinate a great deal when it comes to their kids’ schedules.

However, he wants us to separate our weekends—meaning every other weekend we can do activities or go away to see the grandparents without the other parent, which seemed fair.

It is our daughter’s birthday this month and it lands on a Thursday.

We have decided that he could celebrate her birthday the weekend before with his family, and I could do the same the weekend after.

He has planned to invite his mum and brothers but told me today that he also wants to invite a few friends of his that have kids, whom I know very well.

Two couples, precisely.

But here’s where the trouble started.

However, this is where I need your opinion.

One of the women has recently become very hostile towards me due to a fallout at a school board meeting that was previous to my and A’s separation.

She came to my house one night in January and decided to swear at me, use disgraceful language, and point-blank disrespect me—then also disinvited us from their wedding this summer.

I was shocked, to say the least, so you can imagine when I say: I can’t stand her.

But the problem is, her ex and her are still friends.

A still sees her, as he motorbikes with her fiancé and sometimes even goes over to dinner with them (obviously on his own).

The thing is he wants to invite them over for my daughter’s third birthday.

Even if I am not supposed to be around, he wants to host it at OUR house on the Sunday.

But this is where she draws the line.

I don’t mind him doing that with his family and friends—or EVEN doing her birthday party at his mum’s house with all his friends, including her—or even in a play area that has a kids’ party area.

But I do not want HER in my house after how she disrespected me.

I know it is “his weekend,” but it is still my house. So…

AITA for saying that I don’t want her here even though it’s not “my weekend”?

Respect goes both ways, even after love fades.

What did Reddit have to say?

This user think she’s right to try and shut this whole thing down.

It’s her property, so she gets to decide where to draw the line.

This commenter thinks the kids should also be taken into consideration.

This user suggests a very different approach.

She agreed to take turns, not to tolerate disrespect under her own roof.

Shared custody shouldn’t erase shared boundaries.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.