Divorce is never easy, and it’s even more complicated when children are involved.

Would you get a divorce if your partner were having an emotional affair but nothing had happened physically?

The man in this story is considering doing just that, but he’s not sure if it’s the right decision.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITAH for wanting to end my marriage after finding my wife emotionally cheating again?

I (36M) live in a country that is not my own with my wife (36F) and our two young kids (6M and 1F).

I don’t have family nearby and she does.

Our marriage has been rocky for a long time, but what has pushed me to this point is that this is now the fourth time I’ve discovered her forming emotional affairs with other men.

This isn’t the first time this has happened.

Two years ago when this happened, we did couples therapy. I was willing to work on things and I took responsibility for my side (communication, stress, and working on myself through therapy).

She acknowledged she crossed boundaries, but nothing really changed long-term.

Recently, I discovered she has been messaging another guy behind my back.

When I confronted her, she didn’t show remorse — just got defensive and said our relationship hasn’t been good anyway. She’s still texting him daily, including when we’re both home with the kids.

The definition of an emotional affair is one that’s not physical but emotional.

She denies it’s an affair because they “haven’t done anything physical,” but they talk intimately, it’s a work colleague so it’s someone she sees every day and they are planning to meet outside of work.

She also goes out of her way to hide her phone.

Meanwhile, we are still living together for financial and childcare reasons. She sleeps in our old bedroom and I’m in the spare room.

The atmosphere is tense and I honestly feel like I’m living with a roommate who’s just waiting for me to move out but simultaneously playing the victim.

It gets even worse.

What really hurt recently is I saw messages where she said that when we finally separate, she wants the kids 100% because I’m “not capable” of having them.

I actively participate in the bedtime routine, school runs, cooking, baths, housework etc., so that stung. I never have anytime for myself because I’m constantly playing my equal role as a parent and husband.

I feel like she’s positioning herself as the hero and me as the absent/uncaring dad to justify her choices and her guilt. Everything seems typical gaslighting, manipulation and just general narcissist behavior on her part.

He wants to move out but is worried about the consequences.

Here’s where I’m stuck:

I’m considering moving out in the new year. I have a possible apartment through a friend.

But if I leave first, she will financially struggle and I’m scared the kids will be caught in that.

I want the kids 50% of the time at least once we separate physically, but I still feel like I’ll be “abandoning” my children or reducing their stability.

Also, we’re supposed to take the kids to see my family soon (they haven’t seen them in a year as they live in another country) and I’m afraid if I tell her now, she’ll cancel that trip out of spite, she’s already alluded to this when I’ve hinted at talking about our housing situation.

He’s really not sure what to do.

I don’t want to be with her anymore.

I don’t trust her and I don’t think she’s interested in fixing anything.

But I feel guilty and sad about breaking up the family, especially since I’m isolated here.

AITAH for wanting to separate even though it will create financial and emotional instability for her and the kids?

Maybe they could try marriage counseling one more time. It’s his wife who needs to change.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

This person suggests talking to a lawyer.

Here’s another vote for calling a lawyer.

Everyone seems to agree that he needs to call an attorney right away.

Another person reassures him that it’s okay to stop fighting for his marriage.

Their marriage has been broken for a long time.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.