When you are looking for a new job, getting good references is often very important.

What would you do if you sent an old manager a brief paper to fill out from a potential employer, but he had ignored the request for nearly two weeks, and the time limit was almost up?

That is what happened to the young man in this story, so he called the old manager and said it was unprofessional to just ignore his request, but that made the old manager upset.

AITA for saying that my old manager was unprofessional for not replying to my email and calls.

I (18M) recently applied for a very important job that could be life-changing.

A good reference can be critical.

As part of the final steps of recruitment, I had to provide references before a set deadline. Once I submit a reference, they get two weeks to complete an emailed reference form.

About three days before I submitted my references, I reached out to my old boss (the owner of a small restaurant I worked at for a year) on his phone, which was always our main way of contacting each other, to ask if I could use him. I didn’t get a reply, but since the deadline was coming up, I added him anyway.

If he has done it in the past, it should be fine.

This manager has given me references in the past and it’s never been an issue, so I didn’t think it would be a problem this time.

I then gave him a full 11 days to complete the email. Over the past week, I’ve been calling and emailing, even trying the restaurant phone to see if I could at least confirm whether he was going to respond.

I would be freaking out at this point.

Now I only have three days left before my application is terminated if the referee doesn’t complete the email.

Today, I called his company phone again and left a message saying I needed him to call me urgently, that it was an important matter, and that I found it unexeptable/unprofessional that I had been left completely in the dark by both him and the business.

He doesn’t owe him anything, but it is rude to ignore calls and emails.

About 20–30 minutes later, he called back, saying it was extremely rude of me to say that and that he owed me nothing.

I agreed that as an individual he doesn’t owe me anything but as a manager and business owner, I think it’s unprofessional to ignore a previous employee’s calls and emails entirely.

He might be right, but I wouldn’t want him as a referral anymore.

Even a quick “Sorry, I can’t do this” message would have been fine.

So, was I wrong for thinking it was unprofessional of him not to provide me with any form of basic comunication.

AITA?

The guy definitely should have replied, but I can see why the old manager might have taken this as rude, too.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this situation.

He should never have listed him as a reference.

This is an important life lesson.

This commenter says to find another reference right away.

This is great advice.

He doesn’t know why the guy was ignoring him.

He was in no position to demand anything from this former manager.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a man whose manager “jokingly” fired him, so he walked out for good.