There’s a certain kind of friendship that takes advantage of kindness so gradually, it takes a while to notice it’s even happening.

One already-burnt-out woman agreed to help out at her friend’s family business under clear conditions: one day a week, and only when she could manage it.

But instead of listening, her friend kept pushing and pushing until she gave in to an extra shift she never wanted.

So when she inevitably had to cancel it, the fallout was immediate.

She’s not sure who’s in the wrong — and the answer might be more complicated than either side wants to admit.

Read on to find out.

AITAH for telling my friend I cant work w/ her at the last minute?

I (19F) recently had 2 jobs. One was my dream job, and I loved it very dearly but I had to quit because I was getting burnt out, and unfortunately that job was the lesser paying one.

Before I quit, my friend offered for me to come help out at her family business.

From the start, she was honest with her friend about where she was with her mental health.

I told her I wasn’t sure, but since I quit, I told her that I’d be able to help out when I can, preferably only one day a week.

I have expressed to her the possibility of me going full time with her, but I have really tried to push the fact that I don’t want to work 2 jobs right now because of my mental health (told her that’s why I had to quit my other job too).

Following through with this would also require a lot of changes in her daily routine.

This job also requires me to get up much earlier than I’m used to. The job I quit started at 10am, and my other job starts at either 2:30 or 12:30pm depending on the day, and the job with her typically starts at 4:30am.

I am not officially on the payroll or the schedule. Therefore I am being paid under the table since it’s a family business, so it’s not even really legit.

I had already worked one day the previous week before this incident.

But here’s where the real drama started.

A couple weeks ago she had asked me if I could work on Tuesday this week. I agreed, but then she asked if I could also work Wednesday and Thursday.

I said I couldn’t, because 1, I had things going on, and 2, I said I only wanted to work a max of one day a week or when I could, which I had already told her.

She asked me about it another time throughout the week, which I declined again for the same reason.

So then her friend resorted to peer pressure.

When I went to work on Tuesday however, she asked me again, in front of one of her employees, and expressed that she really needed help Thursday.

I said no at first but she asked again not 10 minutes later.

She catches herself capitulating, not because she wants to, but because she feels like she has to.

I, a people pleaser, gave in when she offered only a half day instead of a full.

She also asked if I could work Wednesday again and Saturday, which I declined for the 3rd time.

(My parents have pointed out to me multiple times that she does this a lot, where she asks and asks until I give in. Like I said, I’m a people pleaser. It’s something I’m trying to work on.)

I really really didn’t want to work Thursday.

All of this was starting to really catch up to her.

The next day, however, even more got added to my plate at home, and me giving in to working Thursday was really gonna put me behind on things I already needed to get done before I agreed to work with her, especially since more had happened since I agreed.

I explained the situation (while bawling my eyes out, out of stress and exhaustion) to my parents on Wednesday night, and they convinced me to text her and tell her I couldn’t work anymore as I had too much going on.

So she took her parents’ advice, but it made her feel insanely guilty.

After I texted her, I cried some more, especially cause I knew she was ticked off with me.

I know what I did wasn’t fair, but my parents said it was okay because I had already told her no 3 separate times and she kept pushing.

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I told my fiancé all of this and he thinks I’m in the wrong.

AITA?

It doesn’t sound like her “friend” really has her best interests at heart.

What did Reddit think?

If she doesn’t look out for her own boundaries, then no one else is going to either.

Small business owners are often forced to adopt scrappy practices, but that doesn’t excuse mistreating people.

Maybe work and friendships just don’t mix.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who reported her manager to HR after being forced to work 24-hours straight.

Does she really want to work for someone with so little regard for her mental health?

The cancellation was last-minute, and that’s the part she feels bad about. But the reason it was last-minute is that she said no three times before eventually feeling forced to comply.

Her friend should have known she was already facing more than she could deal with.

A real friend takes “no” for an answer the first time, not the fourth.