Nothing builds resentment faster than feeling like you’re doing all the work while someone else sits back and expects it.

This 16 year old spends most weekdays living at a school dormitory, but comes home on weekends and holidays. Yet, rather than relaxing, she often finds herself cooking for her father and helping keep the house running.

Unfortunately, her mom works long shifts and pays most of the household bills. Whereas, her dad spends much of his time at home and often expects things to be done for him.

After years of that, the frustration started building up.

Now she barely talks to her father, argues with him whenever they do interact, and wonders if she’s wrong for treating him the same way she feels he’s treated her.

Read on to see what’s been happening recently.

AITA for being mean to my dad

So I (16)yo live in a high school dormitory Monday through Friday, but I come home for weekends, holidays, when I’m sick, etc.

Now an important detail to this is that my mom works 12-hour shifts. She pays the house mortgage, the bills, groceries etc.

My dad, on the other hand, keeps on buying pieces of land, which he keeps on saying he has plans for, but doesn’t end up doing anything with. He works close to home, so it’s not unusual for him to come by in middle of the day for dinner. If my mom is at work during one of the weekend days I have a lot of stuff to do.

She does a lot for her parents.

My dad has breakfast at like 9 am. I wake up at 10 and the first thing I have to do is clean up after him. He’ll usually leave a couple plates and cups, some trash on the coffee table (our dishwasher has been broken for a while, so I wash those by hand).

Usually, but not always, I make dinner for me, dad, my younger sister(14) and mom if she wants any after work. Then, I wash the dishes again, and so on.

If dad comes home for a bit, it’s not usual for him to make remarks like, “Make sure it’s clean before mom comes home.”

If mom comes home and it’s a mess, or she still has to make dinner for dad, she usually gets a little irritated and upset. Or if she’s really tired she makes him something quick and leaves the mess for the next day.

He’ll even call and ask for specific dinners.

Other times, just after I walk down the stairs, he goes, “Make me tea,” and will nag me for a good 10 minutes. Then, he’ll say something like, “I deserve it!”

He’ll call me on Friday before picking me up from the train and ask if I’ll make a pizza for dinner.

One time while mom was away for a 4 day long a trip, and I stayed home from school so someone could cook and so the house wouldn’t be a wasteland the 3rd day I made a lasagna. The first thing he said was, “You can cook?”

Fed up, she pushed back.

So I naturally got fed up. I never agreed to raising a man-child.

I obviously still do all the chores but barely talk to my dad especially that it’s not unusual for him to make empty promises. And if I do talk to him, I don’t call him dad, just his name.

Sometimes he’ll try to make conversation and I’ll just argue with him on whatever. I probably make to big of a deal out of things, like the Tea, but there’s nothing stopping him from doing it himself.

Then, her mom tried to stop the behavior.

He’ll be like, “Come sit with me,” and I brush him off and go to my room anyway.

I have to admit that I often say a lot of hurtful stuff. Like, I call him out. I tell him things like he could at least put the dishes in the sink or the kitchen. But he’ll say he’s my father, and I’ll say that I cook for him and clean after him. I cuss at him a lot.

I talked with my mom about it, and even insulted my dad in front of her, after which I got told that I can’t treat him like that. She said that I’m rude and that I have to respect my dad.

AITA?

Yikes! No matter what, you should probably treat your father with more respect than that.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a sister who canceled a family dinner after realizing she’d been the only one putting in effort for years.

Let’s see if the readers over at Reddit agree.

For this reader, the whole thing is weird.

Here’s someone who understands why she feels that way.

According to this comment, the dad just wants a maid.

This is good advice.

Well, one thing’s for sure. Her frustration didn’t just happen overnight.

When someone spends years feeling like they’re cleaning up after another person and carrying responsibilities that shouldn’t fall on them, eventually that resentment starts to build.

And it sounds like that’s exactly what happened here.

But, at the same time, treating her dad badly isn’t going to solve the problem. It may explain why she’s angry, but it doesn’t fix the issues that made her angry in the first place.