It’s hard to feel obligated to show up for people who haven’t been part of your life.

This woman is 37 weeks pregnant and raising a two year old, but most of her extended family hasn’t reached out to her in over a year. In fact, some of them don’t even know she’s expecting another child.

Then tragedy struck when a half uncle she barely knew died in a motorcycle accident.

While she felt terrible for his immediate family, she didn’t feel comfortable attending the funeral. She had only met him a handful of times and wasn’t eager to spend the day at a service while heavily pregnant and caring for a toddler.

So she politely declined the invitation and offered her condolences.

However, her grandmother’s response did not go the way she expected.

Keep reading to see what she said.

AITAH? I 27yr female am 37 weeks pregnant and I don’t want to go to my uncles funeral. Family doesn’t know I’m pregnant.

I’m (27F) 37 weeks pregnant. None of my family has reached out to me in over a year. I took my grandma out to breakfast in June for her birthday, and she didn’t even reach out to wish me a happy birthday in September.

No one knows that I’m pregnant. Only people who see me in person or that I have a relationship with knows that I’m pregnant.

My half uncle who I’ve only met two or three times and never even had a conversation with passed away in a tragic motorcycle accident. I’m really sad for his family, but I don’t feel obligated to go to a funeral for someone I don’t know.

She has several good reasons not to attend.

I don’t handle funerals well, and I’m uncomfortable with them in general.

I have a two-year-old and no one has even reached out to see how she’s doing in over a year.

I don’t want to attend a funeral 38 weeks pregnant with a two-year-old. Plus, they don’t know that I’m pregnant so it would be a huge shock and conflict.

Her grandmother sees it as an excuse.

This was my grandma’s response to me, declining the invitation to the funeral.

I said, “We aren’t going to be able to make it tomorrow. I have work that I can’t get out of. I’ve only met him two or three times, so unfortunately, we didn’t have a personal relationship. I don’t know that I would want to bring Raelynn to a funeral unless she absolutely had to, she won’t understand. I’m so sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine what it must be like to lose a child. If you need anything please let us know.”

My Grandma (65F) replied, “You don’t have to make all those excuses. Just be honest and say it’s not important enough to be bothered. Not too many care enough. The memorial service is Monday, April 27 at 10 but I don’t expect you will have time then either.”

AITA?

Yikes! It’s easy to see why her grandma is upset, but she makes some good points.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this post about an entitled daughter who wants the same rewards as her hardworking brother.

Let’s check out what the fine folks over at Reddit think about this family drama.

This person thinks she over explained.

She definitely shouldn’t let them bully her.

They do seem like strangers.

Great question.

This feels like a situation where the funeral became about a lot more than the funeral itself.

The grandmother sounds hurt, but it also sounds like this woman has been carrying around her own hurt for quite a while.

Relationships work both ways.

And you can’t guilt someone for not showing up when they already feel like nobody has been showing up for them.