Last-minute plan changes are annoying for most people, but when you have a condition like AuDHD, it can be genuinely difficult.

One such woman had specifically helped steer a night out toward a sit down bar so she could mentally prepare for it.

But when her friends suggest they move to a crowded bar with some other friends she didn’t know, her anxiety went through the roof.

So when she finally got ready and out the door, she expressed how much effort it had taken, but her friends just laughed it off and kept moving.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for not wanting to go out after my friends changed going out plans last minute?

My friends (21F and 23F) and I (22F) decided one weekend to go clubbing.

For context, I’d been clubbing once before and it was a really bad experience.

The whole thing ended up being more work than fun.

I ended up taking care of a very drunk friend in a city that neither of us knew.

So this summer I decided to give it another try with some friends I’m closer to.

So she did her best to plan a nice trip.

A few days before, I texted our group to try to make an actual plan.

I sent a few options for clubs and didn’t get a response.

I let it sit for a couple of days, then texted again to ask what they were thinking.

They finally got a plan together, but that didn’t prevent it from changing yet again.

One of the girls said we should do a nice bar instead, and I was happy to oblige.

I prefer going to a sit-down bar anyway.

The night of, they started texting in our group chat to say that one of their mutuals, someone I didn’t really know, had suggested a club they liked.

She’s immediately skeptical of this and not happy about another change of plans.

I’m AuDHD and need some time to mentally prepare myself for large outings.

I immediately felt my anxiety start to build because I was expecting a sit-down night.

The people she was with didn’t seem to be understanding about her feelings.

I eventually got ready, but when I got to the meeting point I expressed my discomfort and told both of my friends what it took to get me out of the house.

They both kind of laughed it off, but I was really uncomfortable not having had time to mentally prepare myself.

She can’t help but wish the night ended up differently.

We ended up having a good night, but I wish I could have been heard, or at least given a heads-up, because from what I heard they never planned on not going to a club.

I might be reaching, but maybe they were expecting me not to show up, I don’t know.

AITA for feeling like my feelings weren’t really heard?

Social anxiety is no joke, especially paired with AuDHD.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a mom who is irate after she gave a group leader money for her daughter’s lunch, only to have him pocket the cash and ask all of the kids to pay their own way.

What did Reddit have to say?

Next time, this user thinks it would be best to just not show up at all.

In fact, this commenter thinks she may have inadvertently brought the vibe down.

Maybe there’s more than enough blame to go around.

It’s probably a good idea to start getting comfortable with last-minute changes, because life throws a lot of them at you.

Ultimately her friends had one reasonable thing to do when the plan changed and that was tell her. She’d done everything right on her end, confirmed the plan, prepared for it, and then got blindsided.

At the end of the day, she has a condition to account for. Laughing off her discomfort at the door wasn’t kind, and it didn’t cost anything to just acknowledge what she said.

But on the other side, when you walk into a night out with a bad attitude and you make your discomfort clear, it does create an uncomfortable situation for everyone else too. Both things can be true at once.

Here’s hoping the next night out goes a lot more smoothly.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a person who abandoned their own D&D campaign when their friends stopped paying attention.