Mom Revokes Her Daughter’s Permission To Borrow Her Car After She Takes Offense At A Comment About Her Weight
Magnific
Few things can make an adult feel like a frustrated teenager faster than visiting their parents and finding themselves caught up in old family dynamics.
In this situation, a 25-year-old woman was visiting her parents for a week and hoped to borrow their car for a short drive to a relative’s house.
Her mother initially agreed, but the whole vibe shifted when she commented on her daughter’s weight and she didn’t take it well.
The following morning, her mother suddenly withdrew permission to use the car.
Now she’s wondering if she did something wrong.
Read the full story below.
AITA for telling my mom she’s acting like a child
I (25) live in a city 5 hours away from my parents. I rarely visit but I’m here for a week.
I have my drivers license and have been asking my parents for ages if I can drive their car while visiting.. nowhere far, just within 5 km.
The few times they’ve actually let me drive with them in the car, I drove very safely.
Yesterday, I asked my mom if I could use the car the next day, and she (shockingly) said “I thought about this for a while and I decided that you can go alone”.
Things got worse.
Later that evening, she made an unprompted comment about my weight (telling me I needed to exercise).
This isn’t the first time and I’ve had countless convos with her about how bad that is for my self-esteem.
But at that point I was tired and didn’t want to fight back so I went to my room and shut my door, went to sleep without saying goodnight.
The next morning, I see my mom, she says good morning like nothing happened. So an hour later, I ask her for the car keys. here’s how the convo went:
me: hi can I take the car keys so I can go to cousin’s house like we talked about yesterday?
mom: no I decided not to let you use my car
So things changed for apparently no reason.
me: why?
mom: I don’t need to explain myself
me: but yesterday you said –
mom: I DON’T NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF
me: but you said-
mom: I DON’T NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF I DONT HAVE TIME TO TALK ABOUT THIS
me: ok what are you using the car for today?
mom: none of your business
me: WHY
mom: I DON’T KNOW WHERE I’M GOING YET
The whole vibe shifted very fast.
me: so you don’t have any plans yet and you don’t know when you need the car but you’re not letting me use it
mom: yes
me: can you tell me what changed since yesterday???
mom: well yesterday after you went to your room you made the energy bad
me: you literally told me to exercise and implied I gained weight?? In an offensive way??
mom: it’s not offensive
Her mom just won’t listen to her.
Me: it WAS offensive to me!!
mom: I’m SORRY IM SUCH A HORRIBLE MOTHER
me: DONT TURN THIS CONVO INTO THAT
mom: STOP YELLING!!!! ITS MY CAR
me: YOU ALWAYS DO THIS, YOU GRANT ME A PRIVILEGE BUT ITS ALWAYS CONDITIONAL. THE MOMENT I DON’T “BEHAVE” (aka don’t take **** for her) YOU TAKE AWAY YOUR PROMISE LIKE A WEIRD FORM OF PUNISHMENT”
mom: THAT’S NOT TRUE. STOP YELLING AT ME. YOU DON’T GET TO TELL ME OFF I’M YOUR MOTHER
me: UGHHH YOU’RE SUCH A CHILD!!!!!!
After all the yelling, she’s wondering if she went too far.
Basically what offended her the most was me calling her a child, and now obviously she’s giving me the silent treatment, and expects me to fawn and apologize.
I recognize that I’m not entitled to use my parents’ car, and they can say no at anytime.
But I despise how any “privilege” she gives me is conditional.
She can be as rude as she wants with barely any consequences, but the moment I show I’m ticked off it’s held over my head.
On top of that, she acts childish in the way she constantly yells over me, refuses to see my POV, sarcastically apologizes and then stonewalls me.
AITA?
This sounds like a narcissistic situation.
What did Reddit think?
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That’s a good question.
Something to consider.
More food for thought.
Another reader chimes in.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about two kids trying to earn money by mowing grass, and decide to solve their gas issue by stealing some of dad’s.
Communication is so important.
Yelling at a parent is never okay in my opinion, but this situation was already out of control since her mom disrespected her.
She doesn’t come across as a disrespectful daughter, just taken to her limits. She acknowledges that her parents own the car and have every right to decide whether she can borrow it.
But she’s also right to feel frustrated.
She feels that her mother’s generosity comes with unspoken rules which involve her accepting hurtful comments without expressing how they made her feel.
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