Being someone’s guest is very different from becoming an unofficial roommate.

This woman shares an apartment with two other roommates. However, one of them kept allowing her boyfriend to stay with them just because he had no place to go. What began as occasional visits became staying consecutive nights in a row, so it started to feel closer to a living arrangement. The situation has left the roommates worried that a temporary stay could become something much more permanent.

If you are sharing a home with people, you may very much relate to this story because it involves roommate boundaries and common disagreements over shared living spaces. Read the full story below.

AITA for not wanting my roommate’s boyfriend to stay with us?

I have two roomates. One of them brings her boyfriend over very often. Sometimes, he stays the night 4-5 nights in a row.

We’ve made it very clear to her and have had multiple conversations that we’re not comfortable having another person basically live at our apartment.

We’ve lived here since March, and he’s at our apartment a lot.

We have a keypad with a code on the front door instead of a key, and he knows the code and just walks in sometimes.

This woman feels uncomfortable that her roommate’s boyfriend stays with them a lot.

This time, he’s been here since Thursday night and he’s staying the night again today (Tuesday).

She only let me know today that he’s going to be staying. And she only told me because I had to text her and ask her what’s going on.

He leaves for work and then comes back to our apartment after his shift. I understand his situation and I genuinely feel bad about it.

But at the end of the day, the fact that he doesn’t have a place to stay doesn’t have anything to do with me or my other roommate.

She doesn’t want to be the bad guy, but she thinks it’s unfair.

I really don’t want to be the bad guy or seem inconsiderate, but I just don’t see why we should allow it.

She has told us that he can pay a portion of utilities.

But our other roommate and I ultimately decided that we don’t want that.

Are we wrong for not wanting him to stay?

She doesn’t want him to overstay at their place.

They let him stay in one of the buildings at his job for a while.

But he was only supposed to stay for a couple of weeks, and that turned into 3 months.

They kicked him out because he overstayed and now, he apparently has nowhere to go.

We just don’t want it to turn into a situation where he ends up staying longer, just like he did at his job.

OP and the other roommate’s argument is totally valid. I think the issue is not mostly about the boyfriend visiting occasionally, but about his presence becoming so frequent that it resembles living there without everyone’s consent. If he wanted his stay to become official, he should pay for rent, utilities, and groceries equally.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a bus driver who is sick and tired of covering everyone else’s weekend shifts.

Let’s see how the other Reddit users respond to this story.

Here’s a suggestion.

This user makes a valid point.

Another honest opinion.

Here’s another idea.

And lastly, some useful advice.

Helping someone out is different from housing them indefinitely.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a tenant who decided to stop returning his neighbor’s misplaced laundry after two years.