ShutterstockHelping your family out by taking your niece to school is very generous, but only if it is something that you can reasonably do.

What would you do if your sister-in-law asked if you could take your niece to school in the mornings, but due to your work schedule, you couldn’t do it? At least not every day?

That is the situation the young woman in this story is in, so she apologized and said that she couldn’t help, and now her sister-in-law is talking badly about her to other members of the family. So, she wonders if she was in the wrong for telling her no and that they would have to walk.

To me, the sister-in-law seems very entitled and out of line. Read through the full story below and see if you agree.

AITA for telling my SIL to walk her daughter to school?

I (f23) am a university graduate and live at home with my mother.

This seems like a great living arrangement.

She owns the house with a mortgage that’s been fully paid off. I pay her rent (around half of the market rate for our area) and do most of the housework.

Me and my mother both work a lot, I work in healthcare and work irregular shift patterns and my mum is self-employed and occasionally has to travel for work.

At least it is just a temporary situation.

My brother (m31), his wife “Rose” (f31) and their daughter (f6) moved back into our mum’s house on Friday. They got a mortgage on a home but it turned out to have a lot of maintenance issues, the biggest ones being with their toilet and shower not functioning.

Also their heating doesn’t work. It’s estimated to take at least a month to fix everything so in the meantime they’re staying here.

That seems like a pretty reasonable request; it isn’t far out of her way.

Rose came to me and asked if I could take their daughter to school, as her school is a 5 minute drive from the hospital. Normally their neighbour (who has a child the same age) would take her to school but that’s no longer an option.

My brother works full-time and his shifts clash with doing this (he starts at 7am) and he and Rose share a car, as she only works one shift a week on Sundays.

Not all jobs allow this kind of flexibility, especially when it isn’t for her own child.

I told Rose that I can’t commit to taking my niece to school everyday. She needs to be dropped off at school for 8am, and sometimes I’m doing overnight shifts that don’t finish until 9-10am or I’m doing shifts that start really early in the morning.

Rose got a bit upset and asked why I can’t just explain to my boss that I need to be available for school drop-off. She didn’t wait for an answer and said she knows it’s not that simple but she needs me to help her.

She has a very good reason for not being able to do this.

In my job, if you start requesting restricted availability, they will give you way less shifts.

I couldn’t understand why Rose wouldn’t walk her daughter to school, as it’s a 15 minute walk from our mum’s house to get there, with no hills and plenty of safe crossings.

Honestly, it isn’t this woman’s job to come up with a solution. Just say that you can’t drop her off.

Rose and their daughter don’t have any health conditions that would make this not doable. I asked Rose why she wouldn’t walk her daughter to school and she said that is too far to walk with a young child.

I showed her the distance on Google maps (I assumed she wasn’t aware of how close it was) and she reiterated that it was too far.

Rose seems very entitled.

I said to Rose I think that’s her best option but I cannot take her daughter to school everyday.

Later that day my mum told me that Rose came to her really upset that I refused to help.

It would be nice, but she can’t do it. At least not every day.

My mum said she knows I normally work irregular shifts but that it’d be a really nice thing for me to do.

I feel like I’m going crazy because when I was a kid I went to the same school and my mum walked me there and back from this house!! I said no and my mum said that’s fine I understand.

I think Rose (and Mom) are selfish for trying to guilt-trip her.

Now I’ve got my brother calling me selfish and he said it’s a small ask that even their neighbour could do it and I’m refusing.

AITA?

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Rose had every right to ask for this help, but when she was told no, that should have been the end of it. I can’t believe anyone would demand that you adjust your work schedule to take their kid to school.

Read on to see what the people in the comments think about this story.

Why can’t her brother change his hours?

Exactly. She needs to put her own job first.

This commenter makes a good point.

It is the parent’s job to figure this out.

Here is a good solution.

The level of entitlement here is off the charts. Why would her sister-in-law think that it is ok to ask her to adjust her work schedule for this? It just doesn’t make sense.

The reality is, walking is good for kids (and adults). It would also be a good time for mom and daughter to bond. Let them walk.

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Author

Michael Levanduski