His Controlling Family Doesn’t Want Him Moving Abroad — So They’re Guilt-Tripping Him Over Every Choice
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Some parents are often difficult to deal with, but this situation is something else!
In this story, a man shares his plans for the future and how different they are from his mom’s plans for his future. He does not plan to compromise or change his plans, but she’s sure making him feel guilty about his life choices!
Check out the full story.
AITAH for wanting to walk away from my family and leaving them potentially homeless?
I don’t want this to come across as me attacking my family, but I do believe they’re in the wrong here. At the same time, I feel a strong responsibility to help them.
I gave my family about two years notice that I plan to move to America to permanently be with my fiancée.
Watch how fast things changed…
I come from an Arabic background where my mum expected us to live together and die together in the same home, but I grew up in London, which shaped me differently.
I want to build my own life, and I’m happy with that decision.
During those two years, I’ve tried to support them however I could. I constantly searched for apartments and sent options to my mum, but she rejected all of them.
Eventually, I stopped looking because we clearly have different expectations. The reality is, she doesn’t earn enough to cover rent on her own, so being overly selective isn’t practical.
UH OH…
My brother is 33 and has never worked a day in his life. My mum enables him completely. Even when she agrees with me that he should get a job, she continues to support him, so he has no incentive to change.
Recently, we found a place through a friend of a friend, and the landlord seemed flexible. The arrangement worked financially, especially with someone else moving in to help with rent.
But now my mum has issues with the property that aren’t urgent things like not liking the door or being annoyed that the landlord wants to meet in person instead of communicating by phone, even though we live an hour and a half away.(Which is annoying but we’re getting pretty desperate here)
The bigger issue is timing.
That sounds pretty rough!
We have 11 days until we have to leave our current home, and nothing is finalized. She hasn’t packed, doesn’t have a signed tenancy agreement, and doesn’t have keys.
Now she wants to find a completely new place, which I don’t think is realistic in this timeframe considering the baggage she has of being low income with a whole adult with her who isn’t working and no plans to.
I want to help, but I can’t attach my name to anything because I’m moving countries.
Financially, this situation is also difficult; deposits, rent in advance, moving costs—it all adds up, and she can’t afford it alone, so I’m expected to step in.
That’s INSANE!
At the same time, I’m being insulted and blamed for leaving and made to go through this emotional rollercoaster of thinking things are figured out just to have it all thrown out. (She passed on a place within budget a month ago too which really upset me too.)
My partner is being criticized, and I’m being told I’ve changed because of her but that’s also the case whenever I’ve had any girl in my life, I think she just wants me to remain single forever at this point.
The reality is, I want to start my own life and build a family. That shouldn’t be seen as a betrayal.
I’m stuck between wanting to help them and recognizing that this situation is largely the result of their own decisions.
He’s torn between his wishes and her family…
I don’t think it’s realistic for her to find a perfect place in 11 days. I think she should take what’s available and stable now, then improve her situation later if possible and relocate.
I’m worried they could end up without a place to live, but I also feel like this isn’t my responsibility to fix especially with how poorly I’m being treated during this.
I’ve worked hard to build my life, and I keep getting pulled into problems that aren’t mine.
I don’t know what the right move is here.
OUCH! That sounds like a painful situation.
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He wants to live his own life, but his family expects him to help them instead.
Let’s find out what folks on Reddit think about this one.
Exactly! This user knows this man isn’t at fault here!
This user advices him to make his own decisions!
This user believes the mum is trying to manipulate him.
This user thinks the mom is jealous of the partner.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about an uncle who is surprised to find his niece’s birthday party all about him after one unkind comment.
This user knows what the mum is up to.
He needs to leave this toxicity behind!
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