Family gatherings can be difficult when someone has never truly felt welcomed.

The following story involves a woman who received an invitation to her niece’s wedding shower.

She already felt unwelcome by her husband’s family, so she didn’t feel like going to the event.

The fact that she was given an invitation addressed to someone else, just a few days before the shower, made her feel like an afterthought.

Read the full story below for all the details.

AITAH for not wanting to go to nieces wedding shower?

For some context, I have not always been a welcome member of my husband’s family.

The nieces and nephews have never thought of me as their aunt.

My husband’s siblings have never really tried to get close to me, and we lead very different lives.

I am and have always been a stay-at-home mom.

My husband and I are not rich, not even close to it. He is a blue-collar worker.

However, we have sacrificed a lot in order for me to stay home with our children.

This woman didn’t receive an invitation for her niece’s wedding shower.

So I (62F) got handed an invitation today for our niece’s wedding shower.

She is getting married in October. However, we have already been told that we are not invited.

Not a big deal really, as it’s quite far away and in a different country.

About 2 weeks ago, SIL (62F), who is MOB, asked my hubby (58M) if I had received the invitation in the mail.

I hadn’t. It still has not arrived.

She didn’t say anything when her SIL handed her the invitation.

Today, she pulled an invite out of her purse and handed it to me.

It had been opened, and had MOB on the front of the envelope. This shower is in 9 days.

I felt rather insulted, actually, but never said anything.

Circumstances were such that it was neither the time nor the place to bring it up.

We were in palliative care where my MIL was dying.

So I bit my tongue, and after she passed, we left and came home.

She didn’t want to go and planned to send a small gift instead.

I have been looking at this invitation all day, and just feel like I was an afterthought.

Tonight, my husband and I are sitting at home alone while his siblings have gathered together.

So, AITAH for not wanting to go to the shower, that has not been postponed in spite of everything happening today?

I am just thinking about sending a small gift to our niece.

Given the history and the condition of the invitation, it is understandable why OP felt like an afterthought.

I agree that skipping the shower and sending a small gift seems like a reasonable choice.

Especially since the event is in a different country and she was already dealing with an emotional family situation.

Let’s find out what others have to say about this.

How gauche, says this one.

Here’s a similar thought.

Another sound suggestion.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a sister who refuses to give up her own holiday traditions to spend the day with her family at her brother’s cabin.

Here’s a valid point.

Finally, short and honest.

Family events are hard when you already feel like an outsider.