Her Neighbor Has a History of Misreading Signals From Women — Now She’s Worried Asking Him for a Favor Was a Mistake
Shutterstock
It is great when you have neighbors who you get along with and who are willing to help out when you need something.
What would you do if you had a neighbor who had complained in the past that the woman often ‘led him on’ and asked him to do favors for him when they really didn’t like him?
That is the situation that the woman in this story was in, but one day she needed help with her car and nobody else was available, so she asked him for assistance. He insisted that he go well beyond what she asked for, and now she is worried that he will get the wrong message.
While I understand her concern, she did nothing to make him think that she likes him, so she has nothing to feel bad about. Read through the full story below and see what you think about it.
AITA: For asking my 24[f] neighbor 40[m] for help, knowing that he might get the wrong message?
He’s told me multiple times about his women friends leading him on, and him having to end the friendship because he felt used.
Some neighbors are weird.
He’s not really that attractive tbh, he seems like the type to think women are leading him on when they’re not.
He comes off as a lonely guy with no friends. I enjoy talking to neighbors, I like talking to him also, but I started avoiding him because he over talks.
It is hard to end a conversation with some people.
90% of the time, we happen to both be outside in front of our houses, he will be walk over and start conversation. Most of the time I’m in a hurry, but he still literally jogs over to start and hold a conversation.
We live in single family homes, not apartments or townhouses. I literally hope he doesn’t see me leaving my house because of his extensive conversations of 10-45 minutes.
At some point, you have to just be blunt and say that you have to go.
Once, he saw my mother and decided to start talking to her and come into our house. AT 10PM and talked for 2 hours, about his life’s hardships & his ex wife problems & other personal things.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m friendly with him. If we happen to be in the neighborhood park or pool, I’ll definitely go up to him first to start a convo. I’ve suggested that we (and my family) take hikes. As I do with my other neighbors. I intentionally and obviously include other people so that he doesn’t get the wrong message.
Some people think you owe them something if they do you a favor.
So today, my car battery died. I really had to go somewhere. There would be SERIOUS consequences to my livelihood if I didn’t go. I was desperate, I called my friends/family but I had no one to help me. I was hesitant to call my neighbor, but because he’s type of guy that people take advantage of because he’s so eager to help and have you as a friend.
But, I’m not the type to take advantage, there’s been plenty of times I could’ve used his help, but decided to figure things out on my own. I’ve never asked for a favor from him.
He is going out of his way to help this woman.
But I called him, I said: “hey what’s up (etc etc), are you home?” He goes, “yea! come on over!” I told him my car died and he came out immediately.
He tries to help me start my car & it wouldn’t work, so he took me to autozone to get some fluids. He ends up trying to buy a whole car battery for me of over $100, I SERIOUSLY insist that he doesn’t.
That was very generous of him, but he should have respected her decision.
I said no at least 5 times and that I felt uncomfortable about him buying it. He basically responded, I don’t care what you say, I’m helping you.
I have literally no money to pay him back anytime soon, so I’m like dude, no. I figured I’d ask some friends to help me, but he insisted and actually bought it.
He is making things weird.
I really don’t want him to think I’m leading him on. I’m not attracted to him and we aren’t compatible.
I honestly wish we could just be neighbors that chat every now and then like I do my other neighbors. But this guy takes it too far and is very clingy.
AITA?
She needs to thank him for the battery and figure out a way to pay him back eventually. More importantly, she should tell him directly that she isn’t interested in being anything more than friends, since that is clearly something he is worried about.
Let’s see if the people in the comments have anything that might be helpful to offer.
Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.
Paying him back is the right thing to do.
This commenter has a similar neighbor.
Yes, pay him back as soon as possible.
Here is someone who says to pay him back when she can afford it.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a renter who receives a text saying his landlord has passed and asking for checks to go to a different account, but he’s not sure it’s real.
This commenter says that she should be careful about interacting with him.
She should pay him back as soon as possible and maintain clear boundaries. It doesn’t seem like she is leading him on at all, but you never know how he will take it.
Some people are just desperate for attention and see every little thing as flirting.
Enjoyed this story?
Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.
