She Trusted Her Long-Distance Partner With Their Shared Savings—Until She Watched Him Spend It on His Family
Pexels/Reddit
Few things test a relationship like money.
A woman’s long-distance boyfriend recently landed his biggest income yet, and he celebrated by buying his family food, gadgets, and dinners out.
He trusted her with their savings and sent her money weekly, but she felt like the generosity toward his relatives was outpacing the generosity toward their future.
She knows it’s his money, and she isn’t against him spending it, but she’s worried about how much is left over. Now she’s trying to figure out how to bring it up without sounding controlling.
You’ll want to read on — Reddit had some strong opinions on this one.
AITA for wanting to properly budget our savings my partner earns for us?
Hi, I’m Zenny, F (21), and I have a partner, M (23), for two years now. We met online and were in a long-distance relationship for a year before deciding to live together for a year.
But then the two had to take their relationship long distance once again.
But then things happened. (We didn’t fight, he just really needed to go to his family, and it’s 15 hrs away from where I live.) There, he worked from home.
I’m still a college student (graduating this year), and he’s a very loving and devoted partner to me.
She has a bit of a problem with how he manages his money.
But sometimes, being as family-oriented as he is, and it’s probably because this is the first time he’s earned so much, he always wants to treat his family by buying them food and gadgets and eating out together.
He sends me money every week because he trusts me in managing our savings.
She feels like she’s somehow being slighted by all of this.
I don’t have a problem with him spending money on his family, but sometimes he’s just overly generous to them.
It ticks me off because I really want to save something for us in the future, considering we’re getting older, right?
To her, his spending is getting in the way of their future together.
I always have this saying that if we’re earning a lot, we shouldn’t spend it all at once so that we’d still have something left for us in the future, right?
I know it’s his money, but I really want us to have a financially stable future.
It’s been two months since we’ve been in LDR again, but he’s gonna come here again in two days.
Sounds like these two aren’t on the same page at all about finances.
What did Reddit have to say?
This user thinks this young man may be getting a little ahead of herself.
Maybe it’s time to start focusing on building her own financial security.
This young woman doesn’t seem to be very financially literate.
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You have to recognize the good things while they’re right in front of you.
This woman is treating her boyfriend’s paycheck like a joint account she never contributed to.
He earned the money, he’s spending it on the people who raised him, and she’s keeping a mental tab on every dinner and gadget. Being trusted with the savings transfers doesn’t come with veto power over the rest.
Wanting a stable future is fine, but she’s still a student with no income of her own, which makes the whole lecture a little rich.
She can ask about goals, but she can’t audit his generosity.
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