Her Friend Group Splits the Cost of the Birthday Girl’s Day as a Gift. One Friend Always Picks Something Extravagantly Expensive
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When you go out with friends for someone’s birthday, it is great to let them choose what they want to do, so that the day is extra special.
That is what the friend group in this story did, and they all contributed to pay for the birthday girl’s costs as part of her gift.
Unfortunately, one of the people in the friend group would always pick something extremely expensive. For that reason, this woman is backing out of the event this year because she isn’t comfortable spending that much money, but she isn’t sure if this makes her a bad friend.
As long as she tells everyone that she won’t be attending, there is nothing wrong with protecting her finances. Read through the full story and see if you agree.
WIBTA if I didn’t attend my friend’s birthday dinner because I know it’s going to be expensive.
In our friend group, when it’s someone’s birthday, we always pay for the birthday person.
This is a great tradition, but you have to be careful.
Whether they choose to do an event, go out to eat, a concert, etc., we will pay for the ticket or the price of their plate.
But we have this one friend. Love her to pieces, but she’s greedy.
She can really rack up the costs.
Whenever we go out, she excessively orders in hopes that we split the bill evenly so that she still gets what she wants but at a lower bill.
When it comes to her birthday, she really over does it. Last year, she had around 3 drinks, 2 personal appetizers, a market price meal ($$$) and dessert on top of the one they provide simply because it’s your birthday.
We were a party of 5 but split the bill 4 ways so we ended up paying $140 per person. I’m still traumatized.
Does this girl not understand that she is being rude?
This year, she wants to eat again. *Long sigh* Because last year left such a sour taste in our mouths, we’re all not excited to go.
One friend was on the phone with her recently and she brought up how she was going to “treat herself,” and said all the things she wanted to get and when I heard that, I just got really upset.
Please understand, the restaurant she chose is not only pricey but, they’re priced a la carte.
She is just taking advantage of them.
Yes, it’s your birthday and yes, we pay for the birthday person, but you can’t “treat yourself” on someone else’s dime.
I know it’s a day meant to celebrate her, but it makes me feel she’s super inconsiderate because there are times she doesn’t want to pay for something, so she’s a no show or sending something back.
At least she is being understanding.
Initially, I texted her I’d let her know soon if I’d be able to attend because finances were tight, even though, they’re fortunately not. Still, I like to be mindful of expenses, especially in this economy.
She then responded back, she understands and that she’ll find something else that she and I can do that won’t break the bank. It’s like she knows this is going to be an expensive dinner already.
Would I be wrong if I didn’t go?
It is important to put your own finances first; that is for sure. Of course, this would then leave the other friends to split a bill between fewer people, so she should give them a heads-up, too.
Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say.
Here is someone who says they would definitely not go.
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This commenter has a good idea.
She does sound very selfish.
Talking to the other friends is very important.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a brother who is upset his parents bought his recovering sister a brand-new car but wouldn’t help him out with a used one.
This commenter wonders why they are friends at all.
It is long past time for an honest conversation with her friend. If they don’t talk it through now, it will only cause resentment and could ruin the friendship.
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