Every couple has to figure out how close is too close when it comes to family, and the answer rarely matches on both sides.

A wife and her husband were about to move 1.5 hours away from his parents, who weren’t happy about it at all.

She thought they had moved on from it, but then she learned her husband had secretly promised them he’d still sleep at their house every Tuesday after the move. The deal was done before she ever heard about it.

She told him she would’ve liked to be asked first, and she can’t quite explain why this proposal stings so much. Her own family dynamic is very different, so she doesn’t know if this is normal or if she’s just not used to it.

She’s asking the internet to weigh in — read on for the full story.

AITA for wondering if my husband’s plan to sleep at his parents’ house every week is normal?

My husband (29) and I (33F) moved in together a year ago. His parents live nearby, and we have dinner with them once a week.

We’re moving to a new house about 1.5 hours away soon. His parents weren’t happy about us moving to another city.

Soon her husband threw a bit of a curveball.

I recently found out that my husband had apparently agreed with them that he’d sleep at their house every Tuesday once we move.

He hadn’t discussed this with me beforehand. I told him I would’ve liked to know about it before it was decided…

She can’t put her finger on why this upsets her, but it does.

The thing is, I can’t quite figure out why it bothers me a bit. I moved away from my own parents at 16 and have lived on different continents from them, so I know my perspective on family relationships might be different.

I understand that some people are very close to their parents, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It is actually nice.

Still, she feels like her husband’s commitment has crossed a line.

But spending one night a week away from our home to sleep at his parents’ house feels unusual to me, especially when we’ll already be living 1.5 hours away and trying to settle into our new home.

Idk if I’m being unreasonable, if this is a normal family dynamic that I’m simply not used to, or if the fact that he made this arrangement without discussing it with me is what’s really bothering me.

AITA?

It makes sense for her to be confused by this.

What did Reddit have to say?

This husband’s priorities seem to be way off.

This user thinks it comes down to emotional maturity (or lack thereof).

This isn’t normal according to this commenter.

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Maybe her husband isn’t going where he says he is.

The sleepovers are a legitimate issue, because the real problem is that she learned about the plan after it was settled.

A husband who wants to soothe his unhappy parents is being thoughtful in a way, but he chose to do it at his wife’s expense.

Settling into a new home takes effort from both people, and being gone one night every week cuts into that.

She isn’t asking him to stop loving his family, she’s only asking him to treat their shared life like a shared decision.

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