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Showing up once shouldn’t mean signing up for everything.

A single parent who now found herself estranged from a problematic sibling attended a wedding with the whole family and still managed to behave politely.

Soon afterward, an invitation arrived for the sibling’s vow renewal ceremony in another country. She was a solo parent with an expired passport and no one to watch her kids, and the costs were adding up.

The sibling offered to pay for the passport and flight, but she didn’t want to be stuck abroad with someone who had already worn out her patience.

Now she’s deciding whether to decline and send a gift instead.

Keep reading for the full story.

WIBTA for attending one sibling’s wedding but not the other?

I’ve previously had issues with one of my siblings and had cut contact over it. However, my other sibling recently had a wedding I was invited to as a guest, as was the problem sibling.

This woman tried to be on her best behavior, but it gave her problematic sibling the wrong idea.

I dressed up, and I behaved cordially with everyone, including the problem sibling. But I think this gave the problem sibling the belief that the issues had been resolved.

After the wedding, I heard the problem sibling had been complaining about aspects of the wedding and whining about not being included in the wedding, which led me to believe their behavior and attitude haven’t changed at all.

Days later, I received an invitation to a vow renewal ceremony outside the country from the problem sibling.

This time, things were a bit different.

Now, there are several issues I have to contend with:

1. My passport is expired.
2. I’d have to leave my kids behind unsupervised since I’m a solo parent.
3. Tickets and lodging are too expensive.
4. None of the hassle seems worth it for a problematic sibling.

Now she’s wondering about the best path forward.

WIBTAH if I declined attending, despite having put in the effort and time to attend the other sibling’s wedding?

The problematic sibling did offer to pay for passport renewal and flight, but I genuinely don’t want to risk being stuck out of the country with someone I don’t get along with for extended periods of time.

Should I just suck it up and go, or WIBTAH for skipping the event and sending a gift instead?

This is quite a dilemma.

What did Reddit have to say?

This commenter agrees the circumstances don’t line up.

There’s really no obligation here.

This user gives six good reasons why she’s NTA.

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If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman whose family wants her to spend way too much time redoing paintings to make them match.

This may force this parent to choose between two difficult options.

This woman already did her family duty by showing up to the wedding, and she did it with a smile on her face. That probably wasn’t easy for her at all.

Being civil for one afternoon was a gift, and nobody is entitled to turn it into a standing contract.

A solo parent has a very good reason to stay home, and the expired passport is the least of her concerns at the end of the day.

Declining an invitation isn’t a declaration of war, it’s her respecting her own peace.

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Author

Benjamin Cottrell

Benjamin Cottrell | Assistant Editor, Internet Culture

Benjamin Cottrell is an Assistant Editor and contributing writer at TwistedSifter, specializing in internet culture, viral social dynamics, and the moral complexities of online communities. He brings a highly analytical, editorial voice to his reporting on workplace conflicts, malicious compliance, and interpersonal drama, with a specific focus on nuanced stories that lack an obvious villain.

As a published author of rhetorical criticism, Benjamin leverages his academic background in human communication to dissect and elevate viral social media threads. Instead of simply summarizing events, he provides readers with balanced, deep-dive commentary into why the internet reacts the way it does. In addition to his cultural reporting, he is an experienced fine art photography essayist and video game reviewer.

When he isn’t analyzing the latest viral debates, Benjamin is usually chipping away at his extensive video game backlog, hunting down the best new restaurants, or out exploring the city with a camera in hand.

Connect with Benjamin on Instagram and read more of his essays on Substack.