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Losing a parent can make an already difficult home life even more stressful.

This 23-year-old is now working, managing the household, and doing most of the chores.

Now she wants her younger sister to help, pay extra, find support, or move out.

Let’s see how it played out.

WIBTA for making my sister do housework or making her move out

Me (23f) and my sister (20f) have lived together all our lives. We were both living with our Mum until she passed away recently.

Since then, I have become the head of the household. I’m the only one working at the moment.

The expectation was always that while I was working, my Mum and sister would split the chores evenly – ideally my sister would have been doing more to help while our Mum was sick, but she often didn’t do anything so Mum would do everything for her while I was at work.

That’s not cool.

I was against this, but if Mum didn’t do things they just wouldn’t get done for a long time.

(I had my own chores around the house that I did take care of.)

Now that our Mum is no longer with us, I want to be more firm on the household boundaries. I’m thinking of suggesting to my sister 4 options.

Let’s hear ’em.

1. She chooses her chores (half of what needs to be done around the house) and makes sure they get done.

2. She pays me extra to cover the labour I’m doing around the house. (This one was suggested to me – Would particularly like to hear from others if its a good option or not)

3. If she’s truly unable to do anything around the house, then she can talk to her doctor about getting a support worker.

4. She moves out.

Clear. Firm. Fair.

I’m not sure if this is being too hostile, though, especially with our Mum’s recent passing.

I want to be understanding of her space, and we all suffer from mental health problems, but the thing is – she’s been doing less than the bare minimum the entire time she’s lived here.

I know that she struggles to get things done – but our whole family has, and I don’t think its fair for me to have to spend all my free time doing housework while I can hear her chatting with her online friends and playing games all day.

Nope, not at all.

At least if she moved out, I wouldn’t have to get frustrated trying to get her to help.

However, she does pay her half towards bills and board, so I don’t know how right I’d be to put this ultimatum forward.

AITA?

Reddit leaned NTA.

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This person says to stand their ground.

This person says she needs to figure her own stuff out.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about two kids trying to earn money by mowing grass, and decide to solve their gas issue by stealing some of dad’s.

This person says chores are a basic part of shared living, even for someone in this position.

Asking her sister to do a fair share isn’t unreasonable, especially while this young woman works and handles most of the household.

However, their recent loss and the missing details about her sister’s struggles make a calm conversation better than an immediate ultimatum.

Going from no chores to eviction is one very aggressive cleaning schedule.

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Author

Chris Allen