Imagine being much closer to your dad than your mom. If your mom did something that bothered you, would you talk it out with her, or would you talk to your dad about it?

In this story, one young woman is in this situation, and she goes to her dad with her concerns. Yes, she’s talking about her mom behind her back, and that’s probably one reason her mom got so upset when she found out.

Now, the young lady is wondering if it really was wrong for her to talk to her dad instead of her mom.

Let’s read the whole story to decide.

AITA for talking to my dad first?

I (19f) got a position on my University’s Residence Hall Council during the second semester of my Freshmen Year.

I was very proud of myself for this as normally people who get that position are not freshmen, they’re older.

Obviously I told my family because I was very excited!

She’s closer to her dad than her mom.

Now, my mom and I have a strange relationship. Everything is always my fault and she’s always the victim.

We’re very distant now.

I have a much better relationship with my father.

The position has a big perk.

I don’t get paid for my position. Instead, I get free housing.

Since I’ve already paid for my housing, the University sent me a $2200 refund.

My mother has access to this bank account. She took out $1000 from my account and sent me a text that read:

” FYI – I kept $1200 from the (university) refund in your account. Figured you are working so you should have have some reward for that. (smiley face)”

She was really upset by her mom’s comment.

The context, in my opinion, is very rude and passive aggressive, and it came across that she didn’t feel as though I deserved the whole reward, only some.

I immediately broke down and began to cry.

I was extremely stressed and I wanted to confront her, but my mom has threatened to kick me out for less and I needed a place to live.

Now, her mom’s upset.

Scared of her reaction, I called my father and told him.

He had no idea that she was going to do that and said that when he got back to the house he’d talk with her.

Two days later, I get a call from them and my mom is FUMING. She starts by saying “I’m HURT. I’m hurt that you went to your father about this instead of me. Am I not APPROACHABLE?! Am I not FAIR and GOOD AT LISTENING?! I can’t believe you don’t think I am, but it’s not even you that just thinks that… Anyways,” etc etc.

Her mom seems upset about more than just this one situation.

After the whole ‘money stolen’ conversation ended, my mom glared at me and said “do you want me to leave so you can trash talk me to your father?”

I said no and she got up abruptly and said, “You know what, it’s fine it’s FINE! I’ll just go. I’m always the Bad Cop and your father is always the Good Cop. And it’s not even you who thinks that. It’s my sisters, it’s my students, it’s my co workers. It’s fine! It’s fine. I’ll just go so you can trash talk me.”

That made me feel really awful and that maybe I should have brought it up to her.

AITA for talking to my dad first?

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Wow. First of all, who paid for the housing initially? If her mom paid for it, then the money kind of is her mom’s. Second, it sounds like her mom has issues. If everyone thinks she’s the “bad cop,” maybe she needs to think long and hard about why that is.

Let’s see how Reddit responded.

It does seem like her mom is the problem.

This person has a question.

The answer to this question is important.

This is a good idea.

If her parents paid for her housing, the money belongs to her parents. They could let her have some or all of it to be nice, but they really don’t have to.

If she is paying for her own housing, then her mom stole her money.

I can understand why her mom feels upset. She feels like nobody likes her, everyone is against her, and everyone is talking about her behind her back.

Her mom needs therapy.