His Bank Account Is Linked To His Mom’s, And It Bothers Him That She Calls His Money Hers
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Imagine being a parent with a child who is in college but still lives at home. If that child had a bank account that you could access, would you consider the money in your child’s account your money or your child’s money?
In this story, we hear about this exact situation from the college student’s perspective. He considers the money in his account to be his money, but his mom seems to consider the money in his account to be her money. That really bothers him.
Honestly, it would bother me too.
Keep reading for all the details.
WIBTA if I told my mom to stop calling my money her money
I’m a 20 year old man, and while I live at home, I am a full time student on a full ride scholarship.
Because of how the scholarship is, I can’t work too much or else they’ll take the scholarship from me, and I am currently out of a job because 1. Covid and 2. My mom is autoimmune, so, I can’t work a physical job atm.
I want to note that my mom is sweet and does a lot for me, and I don’t want this to turn into dissing her or calling her a bad parent. It’s just this money thing that’s been rough.
Here’s some context about his bank accounts and what money he has.
So, my bank account is linked to hers, so she can add/withdraw money, and she can see every time I spend my money on anything.
I also have a savings account, and I’m really good about my money, and don’t spend nearly anything on myself (not that I can because of Miss Rona, lol).
I got my stimulus check, and split the money 60/40– 60% in my savings, 40% for myself. I also have money in my account from the previous job I worked.
She has gifted me money for my birthday and christmas before, but other than that, I don’t ask her for money or anything else.
He decided to treat himself to a couple of small purchases.
Well, I decided to treat myself, since my boyfriend gifted me his old gaming laptop, and buy Minecraft on it. $26. Second thing I bought all year, and the first thing I bought was for myself on my birthday.
And as it’s the holiday season, I commissioned some art for my boyfriend as a surprise, which was $35 ($25 for the art, and a $10 tip as I felt like the artist was undercharging, and their work is really nice).
So, in total, I’ve spent $61 all year. $81 if you want to count my birthday gift.
His mom noticed that he bought a few things.
Later that day, I walk into the kitchen and she says, “Why you spending money?”
I was really confused, and explained I just bought a game and my bf’s Christmas gift.
She laughs and says, “Alright, but don’t go spending more of my money, okay?”
I just kind of smiled and mumbled out an “okay” and huddled back into my room.
This would bother me too.
It really irked me, as this isn’t the first time she’s said something along the lines of my money belonging to her.
When I worked at a job and spent money, she also said, “Stop spending my money”, and when my bf visited last year she also made a comment on spending so much of her money.
My grandma also sends money every Christmas and my mom has openly said she’s taking her cut from my gift from her.
Which like, okay but ASK before you take that? I’m fine sharing just…ask.
He’s thinking about talking to his mom about it.
I don’t feel like my stimulus money is hers, you know? And it’s not like she didn’t get a stimulus check either.
I don’t want to be a jerk, it really annoys me when she acts entitled to my money. And if she needed the money, she knows all she has to do is ask and I’ll help.
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I’ll be an adult bringing it up, keep calm and cool, but I just want to know if I’d be a jerk for even bringing it up.
This happened about a week ago and idk if it’s too late to talk about it.
It sounds like he needs a separate bank account, one his mom can’t see or access. He should move his money there. It’s his money. It’s not her money. The fact that she calls his money her money is rather concerning.
Let’s see how Reddit responded.
This is the best advice.
Another person has the same idea.
This person points out the biggest problem.
Here’s a more detailed suggestion about setting up a new bank account.
She views the money as hers because she can access it. If he sets up his own account, she won’t have access to it, and she won’t be able to view it as hers anymore.
Boundaries are important when it comes to money.
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