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It’s pretty common for people to disagree about certain topics.

In this story, a woman kept clashing with her older friend because he felt she always wanted to prove him wrong.

Their latest disagreement involved cultural identity, with her arguing that people’s chosen identities deserved respect.

However, her friend insisted that identity was simple and dismissed the differences between cultures.

Now, she’s left wondering whether she was being too aggressive or they simply communicated differently.

What do you think? Check out the full details below.

AITA when talking to my friend

My friend J (26) and I (19) keep ending conversations mad because he says I constantly want to prove him wrong.

The latest example of this was when we talked about identity.

I said identity is complicated, and it’s better to respect a person’s chosen identity.

Because they probably have a cultural and historical reason for why they chose to identify in a specific way.

This woman shares an example of her conversation with her friend.

He said, “Well, I speak in facts, and people can call themselves whatever they want.

But at the end of the day, there is only one true identity.”

I used the example of Black people in my life telling me they prefer to identify as Black/African American rather than just American.

He said, “Well, that’s silly. They can call themselves African American, but they are American.

And if they are born here, they are wrong to call themselves African in any way.”

She pushed back and explained her side.

He said identity is very simple, and we all are one thing, essentially.

He gave the example that Chinese people and Japanese people are basically the same culture and history.

I pushed back on that, obviously, because they are very different.

As anyone who knows their history will tell you, and so will the Japanese and Chinese.

But her friend thought she always wanted to debate him.

After that, it devolved into him telling me that I always want to debate and prove him wrong by telling him he’s wrong instead of just agreeing with him.

I told him that I feel pushback in any conversation is normal, and I am not in control of how he thinks.

I just think differently.

Am I really being combative, or are we just not communicating well because he or I are not understanding each other?

I think it’s totally normal for friends to have different opinions from each other.

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In fact, I find it healthy if people can express their thoughts, as long as they don’t end up arguing.

I guess both OP and her friends could benefit from listening to understand rather than treating every discussion like a debate.

Let’s see how others reacted to this story.

Indeed, right?

He sounds exhausting, says this one.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a dad who can’t understand why his son can sleep in now that he’s not commuting to the office.

Here’s an idea…

Finally, short and simple.

Disagreeing doesn’t always mean trying to prove someone wrong.

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Author

Heide Lazaro

Heide Lazaro is a veteran human-interest writer and digital culture expert with over a decade of experience in editorial strategy. Specializing in lifestyle, social dynamics, and the internet's most compelling stories, Heide has authored and published more than 10 books online. Beyond her daily reporting, she is a dedicated motivational speaker who helps audiences connect through the power of storytelling. When she isn't sifting through the web's wildest real-life drama, Heide is an avid runner, painter, and novel-enthusiast fueled by a truly excellent cup of coffee.