She Realized She Always Cooked Elaborate Meals For Her Brother And Sister-In-Law, While They Just Served Her Cheese And Crackers — So She Decided To Match Their Energy
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Some people really love hosting despite all the work, but it is work, especially when you spend hours preparing homemade dishes to make them feel welcome. But what happens when that effort goes underappreciated?
In this situation, a woman loves treating her family to elaborate spreads of traditional foods, and her brothers usually return the favor.
One brother and his wife, however, tend to serve her simple, store-bought snacks and sandwiches whenever she visits.
After several visits like this, she decided to stop going all out for them, too. Well, they took it personally.
Did she do anything wrong?
Check out the full story below.
AITAH for “matching energy” and hosting my brother and SIL differently?
I (F28) love to host. I make an entire spread of cultural dishes. There are breads, rice dishes, curries, kebabs, sweets, drinks.
I am not exaggerating when I say that I may spend up to a day in active cooking time.
When I go to visit my brothers, they usually host me in the same way. However, one of my brothers, Neil (M34) and SIL (F34) do not.
Whenever I go, they serve me food like cheese and crackers, hummus and fruit, sandwiches from a store, crossaints and deli meat, canned tuna salad.
It didn’t feel fair.
There is no effort put into the meal, and before anyone says they might not have enough money, out of all my brothers, he brags about having the nicest home and the nicest car. So, money is not an issue.
The last couple of times they’ve come to my house, I’ve basically given them the same treatment, and bought some pre-packaged food and called it a day.
For the rest of my brothers, I still do the elaborate spreads.
Anyhow, Neil was recently on call with another one of our brothers who is visiting me soon, and the topic of food came up.
They noticed.
He mentioned how I stopped cooking, and my brother was really confused, and told me that when they last visited me (a week after Neil last visited), I cooked all of my normal foods.
My brother and SIL were pissed when they heard this. They texted and asked why I was treating them differently and accused me of being sexist because my SIL can’t cook.
I replied that I was just treating them how they treated me, and I didn’t care who cooked, but because there was so little effort.
I chatted with a couple of friends, and some of them think I shouldn’t be punishing them for not hosting me with the same effort I did, and that it was unfair to have the same expectations.
AITA?
What did Reddit think?
A reader shares their thoughts.
This person thinks she did nothing wrong.
Yikes.
Something to consider.
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Yup.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who feels hoodwinked after finding out the sick father she’s been supporting has plenty of money of his own.
Another reader chimes in.
There’s a difference between expecting everyone to have the same cooking skills, budget, or enthusiasm for hosting and expecting more consideration from the people you welcome into your home.
Of course her brother and SIL don’t necessarily owe her an equally extravagant spread every time she visits.
People have different ways of showing hospitality, and simple food can still be served with genuine warmth.
Now, after spending an entire day cooking for someone only to get minimal effort in return, it’s understandable why she didn’t see the reward in it anymore.
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