Grandparents Raised Him While His Parents Stayed Distant, But When They Asked Him To Babysit Their Younger Kids, He Refused And Faced Family Backlash
Shutterstock
Being related by blood doesn’t automatically create the closeness of a real family relationship.
What do you think, should a teenager have to bond with younger siblings by becoming their unpaid babysitter?
After years of almost no contact, his biological parents now want everyone to pretend their abandonment never happened.
See why their sudden push for sibling bonding has left him questioning his decision.
AITAH for passing up the chance for sibling relationships even if it comes from me babysitting them?
My grandparents raised me (17m) and I still live with them. Contact with my biological parents has been low most of my life. I saw them maybe 5 times in 16 years, and talked to them on the phone like twice(?)
They moved closer to the rest of my bio mom’s family, who are the family I grew up with.
They came back loaded down with 4 kids, and they tried to make their relationship with me something that it wasn’t. It was like OMG, you’re our firstborn, and we love you, miss you, and want to get to know you better.
Recently, his biological family moved closer to him.
They wanted the whole family to act like they didn’t abandon me and treat my grandparents like crap for standing up for me and refusing to let them stay here for free whenever they felt like it.
My grandparents told them I deserved a home with stability, and where I didn’t have strangers sleeping under the same roof as me. That was during the 5 visits in 16 years.
My grandparents did want to know their other grandkids. They don’t babysit them or anything like that but they stop by my bios house to see the kids. Aunts and uncles are different levels of involved but none are super close.
His parents tried to reason with him.
I’m the least involved and haven’t spent real time with the kids or my bios since they moved here a year ago. They’re technically my siblings but I see it as we’re related by blood that way but we’re not ever going to be real siblings. Their parents made me and dumped me and that’s it.
My bios asked if I’d like to babysit for an hour here and there, and increase it to get time with the kids without them around, since I turned down a relationship with them every chance I got. I said no.
They were like, “Don’t punish the kids because you hate us.”
When his parents started pushing, his grandparents stepped in to help.
I told them nobody was being punished. They argued that the kids and I should be siblings and that it would be good for all of us in the future. My grandparents told them to quit.
Then my bio dad brought it up when my grandparents had some of their siblings visit, and some of their siblings were like, “Oh, you shouldn’t pass up the chance to have siblings,” and how I’ll regret my decision.
My grandparents told them nobody should be forced into it, and they made my bios leave.
Now, he’s unsure what to do because his great aunt got into his head.
One of my grandma’s sisters told me that when my grandparents weren’t around, I couldn’t ever take back not getting to know them, and she said it’s hypocritical of me to love my grandparents for raising me, but I won’t get to know my bio siblings.
She said I might not like their parents, but I could love the kids anyway and forge lifelong relationships with them. She said passing up the chance is not something old me will forgive myself for.
I didn’t tell my grandparents. And I hate that she got into my head so much. I really don’t want to be more than just siblings by blood with these kids.
AITA?
Wow! Situations like these are always pretty hard to navigate.
Let’s check out what kind of advice the folks over at Reddit have to offer him.
Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.
Here’s someone who suggests he get into therapy ASAP.
According to this person, the parents just want free babysitting.
This reader gives some good insight.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a bride who invites her groom’s “best woman” out to dinner in order to get to the bottom of her true feelings for her future husband.
That’s a good way to look at it.
This teenager isn’t punishing his younger siblings by refusing a relationship he never asked for or feels ready to build.
Any genuine bond should develop naturally and without relatives using guilt, fear, or babysitting duties to force it.
Their big family reunion plan looks suspiciously like free childcare with a sentimental label.
Enjoyed this story?
Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.
