Growing up means eventually deciding which traditions you keep and which ones you build yourself.

A woman reached that moment when she and her husband chose a quiet Christmas Eve at home with their toddler. She offered her family the 25th or 26th, and her mother understood right away.

Her sister, however, reacted as though the whole holiday had been canceled, announcing that it wouldn’t be Christmas at all without a shared Eve.

That reaction confused the woman, since her sister is newly married and nobody was being left on their own.

Now guilt is creeping in, and she’s second-guessing what she thought was a perfectly reasonable plan.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for choosing to spend Christmas at home with my husband and toddler, making my sister feel like Christmas is “ruined”?

Ever since I can remember, my family has spent Christmas together. However, I now have a husband and a toddler (turning 3 soon).

So because of this, the couple’s priorities have changed.

This year, my husband and I decided it’s time to start our own family traditions.

We want to spend Christmas Eve just the three of us at home, but we offered to visit my family on the 25th or 26th.

Their families all had very different responses.

My mother is completely understanding. She actually expected this and did the exact same thing when she was a young mother. Plus, she is in a relationship, so she won’t be alone at all.

However, my sister is taking it incredibly hard. She isn’t acting out of malice, but she is deeply sad and acting like a stubborn child.

Her sister seems to be holding everyone else emotionally captive.

She shut down and told my mother that if we are not celebrating together on Christmas Eve, “it won’t be Christmas at all” for her this year.

But her sister’s reaction doesn’t really make sense to her — for several reasons.

Here is the thing that confuses me the most: My sister herself is newly married.

Both she and my mother are in happy relationships, so nobody is being left isolated or alone on Christmas Eve. Yet, my sister is reacting as if I am destroying the entire holiday.

She isn’t a fan of how her sister is behaving at all.

Her reaction is giving me a massive guilt trip. I feel like it’s a natural step to build your own traditions with your child, but seeing her so heartbroken makes me second-guess myself.

AITA for sticking to my plan?

Christmas isn’t meant to cause this much drama.

What did Reddit have to say?

Maybe the sister doesn’t deserve to be classified as a villain here.

And maybe the transition isn’t as simple as this new mom is making it out to be.

Changing traditions isn’t always an easy thing to grapple with.

This user clarifies an important detail.

The sister in this story wasn’t purposely picking a fight; she was simply mourning a routine she wasn’t ready to lose.

Her first Christmas Eve with a new husband was probably supposed to be the traditional one, but now the script is changing. That isn’t always easy to deal with.

Astute commenters pointed out that she told their mom how she felt; she didn’t stage a big dramatic confrontation.

Nobody is the villain here, and feelings aren’t a conflict until someone treats them like one.