Woman Calls Out Her Dad For Constantly Criticizing Her Brother-In-Law’s Job, But It Sparks A Huge Fight Between Him And Her Sister
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Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but if they are going to share them in front of everyone, they shouldn’t be surprised when there are consequences.
That is what happened to the daughter in this story, where the father was regularly criticizing her brother-in-law’s job in front of everyone.
When she brought it up to her sister, it started a huge fight between her parents and her sister, and her parents blamed her for saying something about the job. She, however, was just asking her sister about what her dad had said.
It is obvious that Dad is just deflecting here, and he is the one to blame. Read through the full story and see if you agree.
AITA for mentioning something my father repeatedly said in front of my sister, after it led to a family fallout?
My parents, particularly my father, have always been judgmental of their children’s choices.
What a terrible thing to say.
My siblings and I grew up feeling nothing was good enough unless they agreed with it. That criticism has extended to our spouses.
My BIL has a blue-collar job with a major delivery company. Dad has repeatedly said he doesn’t want my nephew growing up thinking “it’s okay to work at Delivery Company X.” I find this disrespectful. My sister and BIL are homeowners with a happy marriage.
Dad isn’t hiding his feelings at all.
Importantly, this was never a private opinion Dad shared with me. He has made versions of this comment openly, including in front of my sister, many times over several years. She never seemed particularly offended before.
Recently, my sister called to discuss my nephew’s academics (I work in education). She was debating accepting financial help from our parents, but worried they’d become controlling.
What is he so upset about? He is the one who said it.
During the conversation, I casually shared, “Yeah, Dad has been on his whole ‘I don’t want Nephew ending up at Delivery Company X’ thing,” given convos he and I had recently.
This time, my sister became extremely angry and confronted Dad. Dad then called me furious. He accused me of throwing him under the bus and sharing something I shouldn’t have.
I said he’d repeatedly said it in front of her, so I hadn’t told her anything she didn’t know.
It must have just hit different coming from her sister.
Her reaction made me wonder if I’d somehow misremembered, so I later asked her directly whether this was new information. She confirmed it wasn’t and that she’d heard Dad say it many times before.
She wasn’t sure why it hit differently now, but said she values her husband’s job more than she once did, especially because his health insurance has become important after she developed health issues. I understood and don’t blame her for being offended.
He is just trying to shift blame.
Things snowballed. My BIL eventually confronted my parents, leading to another argument. My parents and BIL haven’t spoken in months.
My parents now say I caused all of this. I’ve been asked, “Why would you want to start trouble between your father and sister?”
Her position on this is spot on.
But I didn’t reveal a secret or something Dad said behind anyone’s back. I referenced an insulting opinion he’d repeatedly expressed openly in front of the person I was talking to, who confirmed she already knew about it.
My position is that Dad’s comment finally got a reaction it hadn’t gotten before. The underlying problem is him repeatedly saying it, not me mentioning it.
Nah, she did nothing wrong here.
Was I wrong for bringing up something my father had already openly said in front of my sister many times, when it unintentionally became the catalyst for a major family fallout?
AITA?
The father is the one who said those awful things, and he never tried to hide it. Why should she have been expected to not talk about it?
Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about this situation.
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This was not a secret conversation.
This commenter offers a great explanation.
Dad is the one who was out of line.
It really is this simple.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a dad who can’t understand why his son can sleep in now that he’s not commuting to the office.
Dad just doesn’t like that he is facing consequences for his comments.
The blame all sits on the father’s shoulders, and he needs to accept responsibility. An apology would go a long way here.
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