No one wants to be seen as pretentious…except maybe people who are pretentious on purpose, which is a whole other post.

If you’re a normal person who wants to appear friendly and down-to-earth, thereby making friends and not annoying people, here are 18 actions you’ll want to avoid.

18. Just twice.

My cousin who rolls every “r” on a word that she says in Spanish, like burrito, but not other words with two Rs.

She’s been to Puerto Rico twice.

17. No, I don’t.

Asks the question “Do you know who I am?” Hate those f**kin a$$holes.

No I don’t, and you don’t know me either.

16. Or it’s gross.

When someone says, “You must not have a sophisticated palate” if you don’t like a food that person likes.

15. Skeevy for sure.

Having someone take a picture of you giving money to the homeless.

14. That grand intersection.

Luxury clothing with the brands logo all over it.

That glorious place where pretentious and trashy intersect.

13. Name dropping.

They keep claiming they know so and so famous and wealthy people.

12. This seems very specific.

Intentionally including the words ‘Business Class’ part of your ticket in your strategically staged photo at the airport.

Table shot with wine glass and ticket showing. “Oh I LOVE this wine!”

11. Both of these.

Disrespecting people who work in professions you deem to be “easy” or in the service industry.

Counterpoint: Someone in a very high-profile position who got the job because their dad was in the same position.

10. On this we can all agree.

dudes who keep referring to themselves as alphas….or using the term beta often. its lame AF

9. They really can’t.

People who complain about the smallest things and act like they can do better when they truly can’t.

8. They’re not birds.

Using “summer” as a verb.

“Well, we live in Los Angeles, but we summer in Martha’s Vineyard.”

7. I mean seriously.

Having food with gold leaf on it.

I can’t remember what comedian said this, but he said edible gold is the “ultimate ‘f**k you’ to poor people”.

6. So cringe.

Someone who rents a nice car but then tells everyone they own it. I have an acquaintance like this.

So cringe.

5. What does that even mean?

A guy at work used the term “cross functional synergy” to describe a group project.

4. Every last one of them.

Harvard students/grads who invariably drop the H Bomb within the first three sentences after meeting them.

3. Why are people like this?

I am bilingual because I lived in East Germany as a child and my mother spoke German. I got corrected by a coworker for saying Audi “wrong”.

She told me it was pronounced like “Odd-ee”. She drove an Audi and she insisted I was wrong. Pretentious chick would not just let it go.

2. One kind of “fan.”

People who shit on genres of music that aren’t their favorite one.

You might be surprised to learn that there are as many pretentious metalheads, rap fans, rock fans and jazz fans who are just as pretentious as snobby classical music “listeners”.

Luckily these kinds of pretentious music aficionados are in the minority in every music scene.

1. He’s from Kentucky.

Fake accents.

I was reading an article about Johnny Depp and it said “Not even Johnny Depp knows what he sounds like anymore.” I mentioned this to my sister and she said “Isn’t he British?”

I’m like “No, he’s from Kentucky.” He’s been playing a drunken pirate for too long I guess.

I’m annoyed just reading this list, honestly.

Let’s all try to be better, hmm?